Welcome to the New Year everyone!!
I hope 2019 treats you all better, different, but most of all positive. I sure hope it does with me with a plethora of new adventures ahead of me. Most of all, I will focus on myself first and know how to stand my ground and not get trampled around by anyone.
Weather
As always, I start my blogs with the weather. This last year has been interesting for everyone with this category. We went from hot to cold in matter of the same day or the next. We've been told that we would get snow in Texas and also in Illinois, but either Texas got none and Illinois got some, but disappeared due to rain. I was happy to be able to see my family for Christmas, with hopes in getting snow when I visited so I can take pictures of the snow, but unfortunately there was no snow. Right now in Texas its pleasant, possibly today in the 60s with a slight cold breeze, but this prediction is only of a couple of times of me stepping out in my backyard, nothing more. I'm sure in Illinois, its a different story.
4 months
Well, it has been a long time since I have written here. Literally, it has been since our last vacation to Fredericksburg, Texas back in July. Since then, there has been many changes within me and around me. I have gained new friends at work and a more non hostile environment, but sadly that has changed in the last 2 months or less of the year. Not with the individuals I have gained as friends, but with the person we all as co-workers look up to as an example. Yes, you guessed it, that strong individual that we go to for any assistance and grants us changes and should have our backs, but doesn't. Personally, I have been targeted twice almost back to back with write-ups that I have never gotten in the past 4 years I have worked in the same workplace until now. Once all this occurred it was once I denied for a position that was vacant even though I expressly told 2 people, my Supervisor (which whom we're talking about) and Operations Manager, my conditions for gaining that position and if those aren't available to be done then I don't want none of it and also placed my input on what can be done with other situations in the account that would make everyone in the team run more smoothly for them. After this certain meeting regarding all of this is when everyone's attitude changed in one way or another, mainly the big bosses and strictly it seems towards me at certain times.
Look, with all this happening, it really pisses me off that things of this nature happens in any workplace yet something like this always happens towards me. I had conflicts before, with either bosses or co-workers, in prior of my jobs and it seems to follow. I need this type of stuff to stop and it sickens me and well just makes me feel some way of myself as an individual. Other than that, I must say that I would like it to stop and if others have put their 2 cents to HR, like I have with my second write-up, then maybe I need to start something else and another ticket in to HR. Off this topic, but everything else has been well with us and hoping things change for the better for my husband and I this new year. We, my husband and I, are hoping for us to travel more in this new year. So far, it seems that it may happen and I'm hope it does and I will be excited when it happens. We do have a couple of events/trips coming up already, but we're gathering more and most of them are with my husbands coworkers.
Photography
I have been dragging with my side hobby and I really don't like it. Things that have been happening, especially the lack of motivation, just makes someone have less and less interest in things you once had interest in. The lack of interest has been years, but I'm not sure what made it occur and start. I wish i knew, that way I can nip it on the butt and start to have the motivation again. I'm trying to find a photography challenge that I can actually do, that won't make me do things on a daily basis since if you're making someone do a task then you will loose interest since its forced upon. So I must find a challenge that will help me get focused on what I need to practice on while its not daily and get motivation again. Once I find something that I can combine all of this into one, which must start soon, given the new year then I will start it. I need to research this long and hard and hopefully the research itself does not make me loose interest.
Bettering yourself
I have noticed that there was a 9Round added close by to where I live. I looked into it to see what it was about and its kickboxing. I always wanted to do something like this since its like a 2 in 1 type of event. I would like to take a self defense class along with it having my body have a workout. I know I need to get healthy and well just basically work out my body to have muscle on certain parts of my body. It also doesn't hurt to learn self defense if I ever will need it, which I hope to God, I never do need to use it. Eric, my husband, needs to get in shape as well. We need to find some type of diet that's not restricting and not a fast and quick to ignore or stop eating a certain food/item. We might make our own diet with lowering a certain food intake each week and more exercise of course. Hopefully with the new adventures that await for us in the work environments, it play with our favor in order for our minds and bodies to be worked on and no stress to occur anymore. So we will see what we can do with all these accommodations, but they will have to wait when we get certain news for each of us. If all goes into our favor, especially mine, well maybe I might work on other things within me like fashion/wardrobe and looks. It all depends on other things.
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Friday, April 20, 2018
Finding thyself and moving forward
Weather
I'll cut to the chase here. Our weather in Texas has been a bit bipolar. Now I shouldn't be using such words, but its the only way to describe it. One day you get 60s/70s weather, even possibly 80s, and then the next cold winds and tons of rain. I am not sure if mother nature took her pills on time or correctly, but I sure hope it stops soon. While I was away to visit my family in Illinois, it snowed twice in April and even though I grew up most of my life there it shouldn't be a shocker to me, but it was. I believe they are in the 50s if not 60s by now and if not, then I sure hope they get better weather soon. Mother Nature you have been weirder and weirder as the years start and move on by, please stop and act normal or happy or just not as destructive... Thanks!
C2E2 2018
While visiting my family I also went to the C2E2 convention. I always make it a mission now to go and enjoy myself there and quite frankly, it is tradition with my family to go. My whole family doesn't go, but my husband, me and my sister and her small family and most of the time we have a good time just browsing and looking at the cosplay. Ironically I have seen a pattern going on there, with most of the cosplay and it really disappoints me. Now you can really tell which people or person took a lot of time on their hands to get their costume accurate and well perfect. To those people who take 100+ hours to get your costume right, kudos to you! You took time after work or so to dedicate it to your costume and found someone, a character, you love and enjoy. I myself would like to do that one day, but I have yet to find one that I would like and well put more than 1-3 hours or less to put it together. I can easily say I will be Jessica Jones because I have the hair and well most of the wardrobe, especially the accessories (a DSLR camera) already and that's ok, but its not too much thought put into it if you get my drift. Once again kudos to those who take time to research and spend hours upon hours to get it right and figure out your material! Sad to say, I saw more Halloween costumes and face painted this year too there and no you do not get credit, sorry. One reason I have gone to this convention every year was for this and if it has gone down hill, well that's one reason to put in the Con part of my list. I don't even have a list made yet of reasons not to go to C2E2, but now you know how bad it is.
I also got discouraged this year and my camera gear or skills. I swear I know, or at least think I do, know the settings to put on my DSLR to take photos of the cosplay and other stuff, but once I take at least 2 pictures of the same person and it comes out blurry or out of focus, I just simply give up. The location where this takes place doesn't have much lighting to begin with. Yes, I do own an external flash and I could use it, but you are also limited on the space around you since it does tend to get crowded. The other factor is timing because most of these people would like to venture off to check the event or just move on and not stay with the same photographer for more than 3+ minutes unless you have set up your gear in a corner where cosplayers actually want you to take their photos in a professional matter. I see most of both sides happen there and well I'm nowhere near being a professional yet, but time limit and all other factors come into play and me knowing I'm not there yet really gets with me and the pressure, so I merely give up if I see my 2-3 shots are no good; I get discouraged. I beat myself up mentally after leaving the event because I feel like I brought my gear for nothing, yet I wanted to take photos of the cosplay. I will need to practice with different kinds of atmospheres or locations to figure all this out.
Happy mind, happy self, healthier you
I found myself lately to not be fully happy. Now most people would say or blame things around them not going their way or just trying to reflect this onto someone or something else. I am talking about loving yourself type of deal. If you're not happy with you, then you won't be happy with everything and/or everyone else as well; it will reflect and you will notice it right away. Like the saying says and goes, "Happy wife, Happy life!" and so I want that to happen away from the marriage aspect, but ironically this situation spreads towards others because others get affected with your mood/tone. It just spreads, period! So I decided to bring it upon myself to find ways to love myself because quite honestly and to get to the point, I don't love myself. There's many factors that lead me to this conclusion and some I have been battling still to this day. I will not state what exactly are the factors here because quite frankly anyone reading this can start something that shouldn't have, rumors or twisting my words or family, etc. You only have to blame yourself at times for situations like these. I guess you can also say that I put other people first to make them happy and see them happy, but not myself. I never come back around after completing that to make me happy or set attention to myself. I love helping people and seeing their issues being solved, even if it's lending my ear to hear their troubles to vent or actually doing something for them, then I'm happy that their happy.
I guess you can say that I would like all these troubles I have deep down inside myself in order to move on and love myself. It's the only way to work them out and be positive and enjoy your life and be happy and spread it towards others. I need to find a way to fix this within myself and at times, I have thought about seeing a therapist, but they are not cheap and this is why I created this blog along with all my other blogs to let my ideas out or vent if need to and if others are suffering the same thing I am and dealt with them the same way as I do, then at least they have found my blogs and read what I am attempting to do or find to fix all of this. Literally if you are in the same boat as me and thinking the same routes that I have been, even creating blogs, then at least I believe you're in the right place or step to let things out. I always bottled up everything, every frustration that came my way which led to me being depressed I'm sure in a period of my life. Things reflect basically and bounce back to you somehow. So how can I help myself to fix this while helping others out? Well research is the first thing I do; google it. As stupid as it may sound, adding the words you need to in the search engine, like "Ways to start loving yourself"is the way I do it. A lot of site links that pop up may be helpful while others are not, but you need to actually click the links to see if it helps YOU! Everyone is different with this situation, so you need to do a research to benefit yourself. See what works for you! Baby steps and start inward, because outward might not helpful.. but ultimately it depends on you. Find the root cause and go from there for you! Here are some of the links that I found with that keywords I mentioned earlier:
1. 21 tips to release self neglect
2. How to start loving yourself
3.15 ways in how to love yourself
I will be reading these since while skimming them that these might benefit me, but find some that reflect with what you need. I hope you find what you are looking for to benefit you and then from there, once you take those steps into consideration, work in the outer you whether its eating healthy, exercising, changing your clothes, and so on. I will be researching this more and see what will work out for me. If you have anything you can think of that might work for me, then send it my way as well. I would like to go back to what I was doing before and that is also enjoying writing, painting, taking pictures, and having art in my life more than just a 5 minute thought or feeling of wanting to do it or them. Time may rob this from me, but I need to regain it back somehow.
I'll cut to the chase here. Our weather in Texas has been a bit bipolar. Now I shouldn't be using such words, but its the only way to describe it. One day you get 60s/70s weather, even possibly 80s, and then the next cold winds and tons of rain. I am not sure if mother nature took her pills on time or correctly, but I sure hope it stops soon. While I was away to visit my family in Illinois, it snowed twice in April and even though I grew up most of my life there it shouldn't be a shocker to me, but it was. I believe they are in the 50s if not 60s by now and if not, then I sure hope they get better weather soon. Mother Nature you have been weirder and weirder as the years start and move on by, please stop and act normal or happy or just not as destructive... Thanks!
C2E2 2018
While visiting my family I also went to the C2E2 convention. I always make it a mission now to go and enjoy myself there and quite frankly, it is tradition with my family to go. My whole family doesn't go, but my husband, me and my sister and her small family and most of the time we have a good time just browsing and looking at the cosplay. Ironically I have seen a pattern going on there, with most of the cosplay and it really disappoints me. Now you can really tell which people or person took a lot of time on their hands to get their costume accurate and well perfect. To those people who take 100+ hours to get your costume right, kudos to you! You took time after work or so to dedicate it to your costume and found someone, a character, you love and enjoy. I myself would like to do that one day, but I have yet to find one that I would like and well put more than 1-3 hours or less to put it together. I can easily say I will be Jessica Jones because I have the hair and well most of the wardrobe, especially the accessories (a DSLR camera) already and that's ok, but its not too much thought put into it if you get my drift. Once again kudos to those who take time to research and spend hours upon hours to get it right and figure out your material! Sad to say, I saw more Halloween costumes and face painted this year too there and no you do not get credit, sorry. One reason I have gone to this convention every year was for this and if it has gone down hill, well that's one reason to put in the Con part of my list. I don't even have a list made yet of reasons not to go to C2E2, but now you know how bad it is.
I also got discouraged this year and my camera gear or skills. I swear I know, or at least think I do, know the settings to put on my DSLR to take photos of the cosplay and other stuff, but once I take at least 2 pictures of the same person and it comes out blurry or out of focus, I just simply give up. The location where this takes place doesn't have much lighting to begin with. Yes, I do own an external flash and I could use it, but you are also limited on the space around you since it does tend to get crowded. The other factor is timing because most of these people would like to venture off to check the event or just move on and not stay with the same photographer for more than 3+ minutes unless you have set up your gear in a corner where cosplayers actually want you to take their photos in a professional matter. I see most of both sides happen there and well I'm nowhere near being a professional yet, but time limit and all other factors come into play and me knowing I'm not there yet really gets with me and the pressure, so I merely give up if I see my 2-3 shots are no good; I get discouraged. I beat myself up mentally after leaving the event because I feel like I brought my gear for nothing, yet I wanted to take photos of the cosplay. I will need to practice with different kinds of atmospheres or locations to figure all this out.
Happy mind, happy self, healthier you
I found myself lately to not be fully happy. Now most people would say or blame things around them not going their way or just trying to reflect this onto someone or something else. I am talking about loving yourself type of deal. If you're not happy with you, then you won't be happy with everything and/or everyone else as well; it will reflect and you will notice it right away. Like the saying says and goes, "Happy wife, Happy life!" and so I want that to happen away from the marriage aspect, but ironically this situation spreads towards others because others get affected with your mood/tone. It just spreads, period! So I decided to bring it upon myself to find ways to love myself because quite honestly and to get to the point, I don't love myself. There's many factors that lead me to this conclusion and some I have been battling still to this day. I will not state what exactly are the factors here because quite frankly anyone reading this can start something that shouldn't have, rumors or twisting my words or family, etc. You only have to blame yourself at times for situations like these. I guess you can also say that I put other people first to make them happy and see them happy, but not myself. I never come back around after completing that to make me happy or set attention to myself. I love helping people and seeing their issues being solved, even if it's lending my ear to hear their troubles to vent or actually doing something for them, then I'm happy that their happy.
I guess you can say that I would like all these troubles I have deep down inside myself in order to move on and love myself. It's the only way to work them out and be positive and enjoy your life and be happy and spread it towards others. I need to find a way to fix this within myself and at times, I have thought about seeing a therapist, but they are not cheap and this is why I created this blog along with all my other blogs to let my ideas out or vent if need to and if others are suffering the same thing I am and dealt with them the same way as I do, then at least they have found my blogs and read what I am attempting to do or find to fix all of this. Literally if you are in the same boat as me and thinking the same routes that I have been, even creating blogs, then at least I believe you're in the right place or step to let things out. I always bottled up everything, every frustration that came my way which led to me being depressed I'm sure in a period of my life. Things reflect basically and bounce back to you somehow. So how can I help myself to fix this while helping others out? Well research is the first thing I do; google it. As stupid as it may sound, adding the words you need to in the search engine, like "Ways to start loving yourself"is the way I do it. A lot of site links that pop up may be helpful while others are not, but you need to actually click the links to see if it helps YOU! Everyone is different with this situation, so you need to do a research to benefit yourself. See what works for you! Baby steps and start inward, because outward might not helpful.. but ultimately it depends on you. Find the root cause and go from there for you! Here are some of the links that I found with that keywords I mentioned earlier:
1. 21 tips to release self neglect
2. How to start loving yourself
3.15 ways in how to love yourself
I will be reading these since while skimming them that these might benefit me, but find some that reflect with what you need. I hope you find what you are looking for to benefit you and then from there, once you take those steps into consideration, work in the outer you whether its eating healthy, exercising, changing your clothes, and so on. I will be researching this more and see what will work out for me. If you have anything you can think of that might work for me, then send it my way as well. I would like to go back to what I was doing before and that is also enjoying writing, painting, taking pictures, and having art in my life more than just a 5 minute thought or feeling of wanting to do it or them. Time may rob this from me, but I need to regain it back somehow.
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