Well, as usual, the weather here is pretty hot. Ironically, we had some rain this past week and it has cooled down a bit here. We haven't been in the 90s or high 90s in a week, which is really nice. Texas doesn't really get Fall weather and less of Winter weather, only a week for that one. Well, hopefully it stays in the 80s and maybe some more rain to come our way... I welcome it around these parts.
As for all the tv shows we have been keeping up with, they all ended sadly. We need to wait on "Handsmaid Tale", "Game of Thrones", "The X-Files season 11", "13 Reasons Why" and well we're not sure on "Twin Peaks", but I'll just say that its the end on that one. We have been watching "How to get away with Murderer", but this one just barely came back on with a new season and would need it to pass time so we can binge watch it and "Mr Mercedes" has been pretty good, but its not on Netflix nor Hulu, from what I know of in Hulu. I have been wanting to get into another show, but I have no idea where to start or which one is worth it. We have tried "Riverdale" and "Penny Dreadful", but one is slow and the other has action, but I think I know where its going or at least the story. I will find one that I can see on my own and has an interesting story along with it. I do still watch "Teem Mom" series and "Catfish" as well, but at times you just need something different.
Speaking of shows, Eric would like to make a vlog, a youtube show. He wants to start off with video game walkthroughs. I would make one or be in one regarding movies and tv shows. Anything at this point for extra cash for both of us as a side job. We will see what we can come up with an hopefully, its an adventure for the both of us. I thought about a Photography business can be a great job for me to get away from the job I already have and make my own hours and make others happy in the same process, but my passion is Landscape photography. Now, Landscape photography is a harder market for photos to be purchased and to get known, so I fell into the portraits and I do enjoy it, but keep it in mind... its tier 2 on my belt for photography. I still don't mind getting sessions from friends or family on portraits, if they want some from me, then so be it. There is always a reason for things or in this case people to come back to you. You have something they like or love about your skills/abilities and why would I make excuses to not make others happy. I'm still trying to find my second niche in the world of photography, so I won't limit myself with one subject only. If I'm requested to do an event, then so be it. I will learn from any mistakes I did during it and along the way, see what I can improve on my post processing as well. Maybe I will take some classes next year on it and stick with it. I was going to this year, but life got in the way of things that just jump on you and then just drag you farther and farther away from it or you loose interest somehow. I'll get back in the grind somehow and won't let others influence me to stop in mid tracks or so. So we shall see what adventures come my way or our way.
Who I want to be
So recently, I started watching "Awkward" again and I didn't start from the beginning. I didn't want to because I can't relate to her accident. Though, in the end of season 4, I believe, I can relate to her. Many people have found themselves already, at a certain age or during college. I honestly have not yet. Yeah yeah, I am old enough to know or should know who I want to be or know myself, but well I don't and I'm willing to admit that. I still need to find what makes me happy, aside of my husband and pets, something of a hobby or maybe be confident in not caring of others think of me or talk behind my back. I shouldn't care of any of that and when I try my hardest to do that, it crawls right back up and in high voltage. One day I would like to say, "F*ck you and your bullshit! I don't care what you say or think of me!" Oddly enough, slowly its going in that route in the work environment I'm in. I'm slowly not caring, but when I see or hear whispers going on in the background, its high alert time and makes me think its about me. I will put here what Jenna wrote as her creative writing final here and then you'll understand as to why I'm writing and thinking this way.
"I have been struggling to think of what to say, so I stopped thinking. I was convinced I didn't know who I wanted to be. And then I realized the answer was all around me. I want to be someone who’s willing to forgive. I want to be someone who cares more about others than themselves. I want to be someone who can tell it how it is. I want to be someone who’d give up everything for the right reason. I want to be someone who sees the best in everyone. I want to be someone who’s a good friend. I want to be someone who always tries to be a better person. And someone who learns from their mistakes. I guess I just want to be someone who encompasses all those things so I can finally be someone who doesn't need somebody to be happy because I’ll know how to dance all on my own." --Jenna Hamilton, "Awkward".
Even though I know this is fictional and with fictional characters, it does say a lot of truth and I want to be that someone and most of them listed, I am. I guess I just need to be more like Sadie, the person who can tell it how it is. Be the someone who can have comeback instantly, be sarcastic, who doesn't care of what others say about me, and anything else relating to any of this and at the end of it all to just brush it off or tell them to beat it. I'll still be kind, to those who deserve it and have not done nothing wrong to me, that part of me will never fade away. We shall see about this in the coming months, or even days.
