Finding thyself

Weather, shows, and new adventures

Well, as usual, the weather here is pretty hot. Ironically, we had some rain this past week and it has cooled down a bit here. We haven't been in the 90s or high 90s in a week, which is really nice. Texas doesn't really get Fall weather and less of Winter weather, only a week for that one. Well, hopefully it stays in the 80s and maybe some more rain to come our way... I welcome it around these parts.

As for all the tv shows we have been keeping up with, they all ended sadly. We need to wait on "Handsmaid Tale", "Game of Thrones", "The X-Files season 11", "13 Reasons Why" and well we're not sure on "Twin Peaks", but I'll just say that its the end on that one. We have been watching "How to get away with Murderer", but this one just barely came back on with a new season and would need it to pass time so we can binge watch it and "Mr Mercedes" has been pretty good, but its not on Netflix nor Hulu, from what I know of in Hulu. I have been wanting to get into another show, but I have no idea where to start or which one is worth it. We have tried "Riverdale" and "Penny Dreadful", but one is slow and the other has action, but I think I know where its going or at least the story. I will find one that I can see on my own and has an interesting story along with it. I do still watch "Teem Mom" series and "Catfish" as well, but at times you just need something different.

Speaking of shows, Eric would like to make a vlog, a youtube show. He wants to start off with video game walkthroughs. I would make one or be in one regarding movies and tv shows. Anything at this point for extra cash for both of us as a side job. We will see what we can come up with an hopefully, its an adventure for the both of us. I thought about a Photography business can be a great job for me to get away from the job I already have and make my own hours and make others happy in the same process, but my passion is Landscape photography. Now, Landscape photography is a harder market for photos to be purchased and to get known, so I fell into the portraits and I do enjoy it, but keep it in mind... its tier 2 on my belt for photography. I still don't mind getting sessions from friends or family on portraits, if they want some from me, then so be it. There is always a reason for things or in this case people to come back to you. You have something they like or love about your skills/abilities and why would I make excuses to not make others happy. I'm still trying to find my second niche in the world of photography, so I won't limit myself with one subject only. If I'm requested to do an event, then so be it. I will learn from any mistakes I did during it and along the way, see what I can improve on my post processing as well. Maybe I will take some classes next year on it and stick with it. I was going to this year, but life got in the way of things that just jump on you and then just drag you farther and farther away from it or you loose interest somehow. I'll get back in the grind somehow and won't let others influence me to stop in mid tracks or so. So we shall see what adventures come my way or our way.

Who I want to be
So recently, I started watching "Awkward" again and I didn't start from the beginning. I didn't want to because I can't relate to her accident. Though, in the end of season 4, I believe, I can relate to her. Many people have found themselves already, at a certain age or during college. I honestly have not yet. Yeah yeah, I am old enough to know or should know who I want to be or know myself, but well I don't and I'm willing to admit that. I still need to find what makes me happy, aside of my husband and pets, something of a hobby or maybe be confident in not caring of others think of me or talk behind my back. I shouldn't care of any of that and when I try my hardest to do that, it crawls right back up and in high voltage. One day I would like to say, "F*ck you and your bullshit! I don't care what you say or think of me!" Oddly enough, slowly its going in that route in the work environment I'm in. I'm slowly not caring, but when I see or hear whispers going on in the background, its high alert time and makes me think its about me. I will put here what Jenna wrote as her creative writing final here and then you'll understand as to why I'm writing and thinking this way.

"I have been struggling to think of what to say, so I stopped thinking. I was convinced I didn't know who I wanted to be. And then I realized the answer was all around me. I want to be someone who’s willing to forgive. I want to be someone who cares more about others than themselves. I want to be someone who can tell it how it is. I want to be someone who’d give up everything for the right reason. I want to be someone who sees the best in everyone. I want to be someone who’s a good friend. I want to be someone who always tries to be a better person. And someone who learns from their mistakes. I guess I just want to be someone who encompasses all those things so I can finally be someone who doesn't need somebody to be happy because I’ll know how to dance all on my own." --Jenna Hamilton, "Awkward".

Even though I know this is fictional and with fictional characters, it does say a lot of truth and I want to be that someone and most of them listed, I am. I guess I just need to be more like Sadie, the person who can tell it how it is. Be the someone who can have comeback instantly, be sarcastic, who doesn't care of what others say about me, and anything else relating to any of this and at the end of it all to just brush it off or tell them to beat it. I'll still be kind, to those who deserve it and have not done nothing wrong to me, that part of me will never fade away. We shall see about this in the coming months, or even days.

The ends are near

Weather
Well, as usual, the weather here is always, hot. We don't get any rainy weather and when we do, it doesn't last long. We have gotten some rain within the last month or so, but it didn't stick too long. We will see in the months ahead, in Fall and Winter times. Today, I hope everyone who wanted to witness the Total Eclipse was able to in the safest way possible of course. I was stuck at work and possibly saw it for a brief moment, of it not being too bright out, but it is not the same. CNN was advertising it on their site and I saw it that way.

Tv Shows  **SPOILERS AHEAD**
Twin Peaks

I have been seeing this since it started and yes, it has me in hell. You don't get the answers in any of the episodes until well, now. Maybe after episode 10 we have gotten some concrete answers and lots of mystery here and there. All I say is this, I bet you Agent Dale Cooper will come back to himself either with: 1) His favorite gum comes back in style 5 minutes before the show ends in the last episode or 2) Mr. C dies by the man in the green glove giving him a duel and out comes Dale Cooper. Many people think that Richard is Mr.C's and Audrey's son, while Audrey was in a coma and others think that Dale Cooper will come back when he finally eats a piece of pie. So many of the small clues that the Fireman/????/Giant gave to Cooper have already happened, if not almost there, so we don't have much to put together. The only thing that needs to be put together is this Linda, Tina, Billy and Richard deal together. Also maybe Sarah Palmer is a Doppelganger as well and "Mother" has the real Sarah Palmer stashed somewhere in her house or even in the Red Room. Who knows, but I also hope the side stories come to a close as well. We only have three episodes left in this one.

Game of Thrones
Yes, we have been keeping up with this as well. So far, all the battle scenes have been great, but are they the true answers to everything that's happening? Not really. Mother of Dragons, according to my husband, shouldn't have gone to war. It maybe the right thing to do, but not in the political stance. I just believe that Cersei Lannister is stupid and if her brother, Jaime, gets captured she would not care to rescue him and only is now pregnant to keep him locked up somehow. I am not sure in which direction this show will go. Possibly Lannister will fall and then we would have to see the battle of the century with Jon Snow and Daenerys/Mother of Dragons at the end of it all. You basically got 4 groups: Snow group, Daenerys group, Lannister group, and The Nights King group. I do believe we have only two episodes left if not one. 

Orphan Black
Yes, I have only been keeping up with this one. There were lots of plot twists and turns and it is getting very interesting. So many characters have died already and hopefully, the ones that do matter do stay alive. I am unclear as to how many episodes are left in this show, but this is the last season and it won't return. 

Two-faced and backstabbing
You know, I at least know the definitions of these two terms. Many people like to throw them out there like nothing and thinking they know what they mean. I have shared my times of having such individuals face me being in these masks and I have forgiven them along the way. I won't forgive the individuals that have done it twice to me. Fool me once, shame on them, fool me twice shame on me. I have learned my lessons with such situations and individuals. I will treat you like you don't exist, but if you are going to mock me or talk behind my back while you are near me, then I will play the same card with you. I will play your game back at you! Don't go crawling to a superior or others to make them like you and just chat with you, karma will play its card there and soon enough it will break you and come back to haunt you. It already is playing the card in my favor, but don't you push it more for your advantage... it won't work. I have a higher card in this game of yours and people are behind me this round. Don't be a child and say you will stay away or ignore the HS drama that occurs in front of you, you don't fool any of us. We know you are nosey and will always be that way. Most of us already know how you play and we won't tolerate it because we know your game. I'll wait to see what card you will play next, just like a Magic the Gathering game. Just know that nothing you are doing, work related or not, talking with others or not, will not help. Bless your little heart and soul as well!! I'd say keep to yourself and don't cause anymore mayhem for yourself cause it will backfire for you. Just you wait! For now, I will keep to myself and be spoken to people who actually like my company and soul.

Summer, here you come!

Weather
Well the summer has always been here. It is Texas after all and we only get is like a week or 2 days worth of winter and the rest is fall or spring like weather. So far its been spring like weather, always raining. We have gotten more rain this year than any other year, since I have been here. I don't think we are due for anymore rain this month, so that means heat and humidity. Expecting to be in the 90s this coming weekend and the rest of this week for sure.

Photography
So I have decided to take classes for this adventure. I have been reading up on the subject the best that I can do while at work and I need more practice, but I need motivation. I thought I was going to gain that once my husband's shift changed, but it seems not. Anyways, it seems that I will be booked for the month of July and September in taking classes. I was planning on adding more classes to them, but I should hold off on any other genre type of Photography classes that they're offering till next year, if they are offering them again. I figure that if I am not happy where I am at and nothing in the work marketplace is offering me another job that I am content with, then I should start working on my Photography career and business. I like capturing people's ideas and I will not limit myself to a certain type of genre or style, because if you limit yourself to one specific topic/subject/genre then you are holding yourself back to many other things and at the same time you may find yourself and what you like doing and are best in. Once you find yourself and what you like doing, then you can expand it to many other aspects in your life, thus being more open in many different ways.

I am still needing to practice Maternity, Engagements, Newborn, Candid, Food, Product, Macro and Sports Photography genres to just familiarize myself with them and see what else I want to focus on besides Landscape and Wedding Photography. Once I take the classes I'm taking in July and September, maybe I will go ahead and take the rest of the classes they are offering that are relating to the genres I listed. To get better you will need to practice and even when you know your stuff, its good to always have a refresher course. With this being said, I am setting aside some money for those 2 months ahead and can't wait to once again be a student. So I am able and available if anyone needs me or knows someone who falls into those categories/genres I listed above, send them my way so I can practice!

Tv Shows

Twin Peaks: The Return
Yes, we have been watching this show. I first encountered it in Netflix 2 years back and wanted to see it because I knew David Duchovny was in it and well, he was playing the part of a woman. So  I wanted to see how he acted and as well, see what the show was about. For the life of me I could not get into it at first. It was weird and slow for me from the beginning. I think at this point I never made it past episode one and if I did then wow. I started to watch it again possibly a year ago and it caught me. It was one of those shows that I would watch to put me to sleep, but it was interesting. It grew on me after passing the first episode, so yes you do need to keep at it to watch and learn. Since I knew it was coming back on, I figured I continue to watch the new season too. Also keep in mind that there is a movie of it out as well called "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me". I was told that it explains what happened to the main character being investigated and so I did not watch it. It seems that we need to see it now, since there are so many twists and turns from it and objects/topics that come into play in this new season as well. Now, on to the new season. How it starts off is just plain weird and every episode after it as well. Some side stories that you see happening play and then you are left wondering if they are going to be part of the whole story later. You just don't know and you need to continue watching it to see if they will. So far there's only been 5 episodes and what I read, there are 18 total that will be aired. I also read articles that can be seen as rumors that there might be 2 new seasons, not just one, so we will see if this story continues. What my question is, if you have been watching it, is "What happened to Agent Dale Cooper after the last scene and episode of season 2?" So many scenes in the new season are left almost blank and confusing. You would think that the characters that were near him knew what happened to him, but most are left clueless themselves and not knowing what happened to him as well. My prediction is that if they do not explain this in any new seasons or episodes now, then a movie will be made to explain it. Almost like "Fire Walk with Me", that movie shows the last few days of the main character, Laura Palmer. The movie idea I can see happening, so we shall see.

The Handmaid's Tale:
I saw previews for this one in Hulu's own commercials. It seemed interesting and I decided to look it up to see what it was about. I didn't know that it was a book first, so I went to see what the book was about first. I was in shock as to what it was about and sadly can see this happening in our world, but let's hope it doesn't. It's basically about our world in the future and unable to bare children due to STD's and toxins/pollution getting worse and worse. Almost cult like, women who had children are taken to be a handmaid for a family and their only job is to, you guessed it, bare children with the man of the household. This show or story is June's story and how it all came to be. It is very eye catching as well since it does open your eyes to how the world may become. There are some sad parts to her story and some gruesome scenes because that is their punishment. You are hanging on and wanting to know what will happen due to some plot twists and turns and almost left as cliffhangers. My husband and I had a bet with this one, but due to anyone reading this and spoilers, I will not state our bet unless you have been up to date with it. All the episodes are up on Hulu now and a new one is or should be out now. They upload a new episode every Wednesday, so catch up and join in on our bet. Is there a show you are watching that are similar to these? I wouldn't mind a recommendation if you got one.

Vacations, vacations
I think I am planning another vacation soon in my future. I have one lined up in the last minute to see the family, but these deals going on in the airline I take are hard to not look away from. So we shall see and I wouldn't mind going away from all of this. Thinking of doing 3 trips a year to see the family, but hopefully that will change soon. One can only imagine and hope.