2023 Is almost over!

 Well, again I totally forgot about this blog. Tumblr I'm forgetting as well from time to time, but that one still has more up-to-date stuff than this blog does. Good luck finding my Tumblr haha!

Weather:

So this has changed drastically since the last 2 years. We had 2 ice storms and one the whole city of Austin was at a halt. Roads were icy and not able to drive through to them. We had a weeks worth of not able to go anywhere and a couple of days of our power going in and out. We made it, obviously, but we are fearing it might happen this coming winter. We literally had to make or warm up some food by candlelight and stay wrapped up in blankets. Most of us couldn't even work since the power kept going out every 5 minutes or more. After this happened, well the weather went back to normal for Texas... which means heat. Then we had another somewhat ice storm the year after, but not as bad as the last one. Texas has or still is working on "fixing" the power grids since we're only are attached to our state alone and not with another near us. Back home, we never had to go through those type of issues when a blizzard hit, so I found it kind of strange going through it here. Then 2023 summer here was extreme. We're always extreme with our summers or just weather in general, being in the heat. We hit records of consecutive days straight in a row of being over 100 degrees, sometimes even 110 degrees, but that's humidity for you in the mix. My husband is worried we might get another harsh winter and so we have prepared as much as we can.

Work 

Not sure how far back you guys know of this subject with my husband and I. So was working for a call center and in 2019, we got laid off, my whole department. Been there for 5 years and it was a pretty easy job, but it became boring and no calls were coming through from time to time, speaking from my experience though only. Was treated like crap by my supervisor and she kept an eye on me and one time even placed me to sit right next to hers. Talk about very supervised and under the microscope. I think she did it to use me of the information I knew in how to run the team, since she was new to that type and any aspect of it and what we dealt with. Got written up several times for stupid things and I fought for it. When we got the news of laid off, I was happy and yet sad at the same time. Most of the people there were just there for me, not really friends and others were friends. At that point I decided to take some time off and not work for however long it took me to find another job. Took about 6 months honestly and during those 6 months, it was relaxing, but at other times hell since I had to find things to do and keep up with a list of jobs I applied for. Yes, I went into unemployment. 

Currently I work for the same company that let me go, but direct with them. They bought or joined with another pharmaceutical company and became one. I have been with them now for 3 years and under 2 different departments by now. I was happy when I got hired since the pay was way more than I was being given in the last one and yet almost quit this one. There was so many different things to learn and retain that, till today, I am surprised my brain can keep everything in and remember it all. After things were changing in that department and I kept being dismissed with other tasks, I decided that I didn't want to stay there for another year in that same department and my skills and talents being overlooked and so I applied for a different department. A department that I knew of and knew that they took more responsibilities for the company and yet I told myself that I didn't want to go to another department that handled calls. I wanted to be offline and taking emails; there's too many people out there that think they are privileged and should have everything then and there. That's not the case and not how the real world works by the way. So I took a risk, applied, and got the position. I was stunned, but happy. I told myself I will try my best to not snap at people on a call when it came time to do that or how the call went. I got my training and when training was close to the first end of the week of it I got good news. I was going to be in the offline team; I was ecstatic yet again. After training was over and I was handling cases, even more good news, the whole department was going offline. No matter if I got moved to a different team or what I was going to do, it was going to be offline and purely answering email requests. I have been doing this since February of this year and hopefully I will stay here for another 2 years or more.

Projects/Photography

My photography has been steady, if you would like to call it that. With this new position at work and bonuses they were giving us while we were catching up on tons of emails, there were tons of incentives that they were giving us and so I treated myself with a new camera and a drone. I grow nervous when working with the drone, but my husband will be the one using it more since it feels and looks like he can handle it more than I can. Since I bought myself this new DSLR camera I decided to make a project which includes photos of bridges. This project is almost complete and why bridges you may ask, well the first photo of a bridge that I took got me more into photography. Yes, this project includes that first bridge I took in it. I will possibly announce the completion of this project in my Facebook Digital Blu page. Another upgrade I did was that I bought a domain and created a website with GoDaddy. The last provider I was using for that started to become more restricting, lack of storage and I was unable to add more content without removing and buying a plan of theirs. I know I have a blog dedicated to my Digital Blu page and website here in Blogger, but I'm not sure anyone else in the world really keeps up with updating those type of things and I don't think others bother to read/see mine honestly. If you would like to see my new website, go here. I may try to find a 30 challenge that consists of using my drone, but there's very few to none of those type for drones currently. Currently I am only focusing on landscape and automotive photography, but I might dive back into Product photography and my other project I was starting with my The X-Files items I have collected throughout the years, but we shall see when and if I have time for these. Plus I need to figure out how to use a new program my husband bought me to edit my photos with.

Slice of Life

Well, besides the obvious from what I already mentioned above, there's been tons of new things in our lives. We moved out of our first home we bought and are renting it out currently. We moved in with my mother-in-law and then they moved out into another home. I believe we lived with them for 2 years after moving out of our home. The taxes and them fluctuating and the city growing rapidly with meaningless stores just killed it for us to live there any longer. I miss my first home, that's all I can say that. Yes, I did cry when we had the last of our things out of it and into a storage unit, but we do visit it from time to time to check on it and if there's anything of repairs wise to do to it, from the outside of course. I got a new job, liked the department I was in, but rapidly grew to hate it due to seeing others that make mistakes or don't look into the finer details and them getting more tasks or responsibilities that come with being observant and looking into details getting these tasks. I was being overlooked in my opinion and didn't think it was fair and just and so, I decided that I needed to get away from it all and onto another department. That happened and I'm glad I am offline and working from home remotely ever since I got hired by this company.

During that time I finally decided to visit a doctor to check on my health due to a time period, while unemployed and before I got let go, that I wasn't myself and I do believe depression hit me very hard. The hardest it has ever hit me and the last time I felt close to the same way was when I was in high school, but this one wins a trophy. I never want to get back to that moment and feeling the way I did and I haven't since then. Yet due to this episode I decided to visit the Doctor for regular checkup and was told crappy news. This is why I never wanted to visit them by the way; barrels of bad news at times. I have fibroids. I got recommended several doctors which lead me with more recommendations of others and finally, I had the time and guts to do something about it all. I am scheduled for surgery on Oct 13th. There are so many rules and restrictions I need to follow for it prior to the surgery day that I understand why they are in place, but my goodness there's a lot. I fear the surgery since I've never had any general surgery and me being put to sleep, but it has to happen. I need to feel better from it all. Hopefully all goes well that day, for me. I'm just glad my parents will be visiting the week after my surgery to help us since I will not want to be walking around, full of pain.

So, we took over my mother-in-laws house and they moved out. Basically we like to look at it as we kicked them out; just kidding! We bought the house that one of my sister-in-laws was living at and they decided to move back to another state. That did not work out well for them at all and they had to move back home. They moved in with us with the children having their own rooms and their parents in an RV next door to us. That lasted about half a year and well, not well. My husband mainly has PTSD from this experience now and has lost the relationship he had with his nieces. Before that happened, the husband and son decided to go to another state and figure out if living there will be best for the whole family. I think that lasted less than a year and everyone, besides the son, moved back here, but with my mother-in-law this time. The son decided to get his life together by getting an education and degree in Job Corps. At this point, I know the parents both have jobs (miraculously for the mother) and the kids just stay put most of the time. Our relationship with them has been severed and we just don't speak with them cause they don't with us. I just wish this didn't happen for my husband's sake mainly, but it's all we can do, nothing.

During these times living with my in-laws and then gaining their home we added to our family, with furry children. We first found 3 kittens in our property next door during some rainy weather and decided to keep them. Then about a year or 2 later, we gained two more little kittens. They both were in bad shape and with colds and so we decided to keep them as well. The momma now has had 2 litters and this most recent one, she had 4 and they are all running and living around our property. Their older siblings, the first litter, the ones that we rescued from batch, are still coming around as well. At that time she had 5 kittens in that litter. We had other adult cats come and go and some we got enjoy their company with, but we haven't seen anymore and may have passed. We do have a tom cat that comes daily and let's us pet him, we named him Tom. Get it? No, well we're sometimes not clever with names haha. We also seen some racoons and opossums come by; sometimes they are a nuisance since they eat all the cat food we provide. I'm not sure what else has been new to add here besides the obvious, if you have me on Facebook, but I'm just nervous for my surgery and hopefully it goes well. See ya all!

2021 say whaaaat?

Well I just would like to say, welcome to 2021 everyone who still reads this. I do apologize that I haven't updated it in such a looooong time. Quite honestly, I forgot about it and well decided to place more personal stuff that I am going through in my tumblr. So if you have one of those or were following me there before, then you have been up to date with my life than in this blog. I will keep the format the same in this blog and no I will not be linking my tumblr here. So if you it or know me and can find a way to get to it, then I bid you good luck on it. A lot has changed since my last post here and no I'm not saying because its a new year, but honestly a lot has changed and happened.

Weather

Since my last post, the weather was decent after. Your typical Texas weather of being hot and dusty were into play. Once we hit close to the New Year, we got the cold weather. Literally a day or two before the new year hit we got rain and cold winds. After the new year, we did get tons of mixed weather. We did get one Snow day here during a weekend and then it left. We accumulated about 6 inches of snow and that hasn't occurred since 2014 or so. I can't recall what the weather channel said, but it was coming down non-stop. Everyone had fun that weekend and making snowmen and snow angels and your typical snowball fights. The next round of snow came in February and it was nothing anyone was expecting, honestly. All of Texas was in a severe Snow Storm warnings and what came first was the sleet with rain. That made all of our roads be very dangerous and almost inaccessible. Then came the snow, a whole bunch of it on top of the already icy snow and sleet. In all technicality, Texas was shut down due to this weather. Everyone's power went out or flickered, to possibly return 3-4 days after or a whole week after, then on top of that many people's water was frozen and inaccessible and under a boiling water notice.

For our household we only experienced was our lights flickering in and out and being gone for more than 5+ hours and increasing that number every time it went out. We never experienced the water issues and we found ways to cook our food and now are trying to prepare in case it happens again by buying supplies and thinking outside the box for these types of situations. I believe that Ercot, the main company for our light source in all of Texas, is going to go through some changes. I believe some people were already fired due to this negligence we all experienced. I know for a fact when I was living in Illinois, we never had this issue occur. Maybe through thunderstorms we did, but that's a whole different story and situation. Alas, it only took us 4 days total to get "back to normal" regarding with this storm. Others weren't so lucky in a short time frame. Even after the storm was over, they had no electricity and no running water. This time I will we will be prepared since my husband hate not being prepared for situations like these. As of right now, we're in a Spring type weather and a couple of rain clouds here and there, but nothing to major like this we had. 

Photography

I definitely put this on pause since last year. I wasn't able to go anywhere nor take any other portrait sessions of anyone. I believe I did have one last year. It was for a family member wanting to have a Senior graduation session. Other than that I haven't been to any conventions or any other events due to Covid still on the rise with numbers. I'm not sure if I will pick this up again or if it'll simply be a hobby for me. I did wanted to expand my business with this hobby or at least my small business with this, but Covid just threw that out the window literally for me. I'll take some of small events or trips my husband and his family might do, but that might be all.

The Corner

So in my last post, I did mention that my husband and I moved into his mother's house. We were able to clean up the house with help, we were able to find a realtor to put our house in the marketplace for leasing and we did find tenants we liked. We did fire our first realtors we were with, company wise, due to fact that they weren't listening to a single word we were saying. So we found another company, got our house fixed and cleaned to their standards for leasing and got a family in there already since October or November. Somewhere in between those months; they moved in a day or so earlier than planned. They signed the lease for 2 years and we've been back in the neighborhood a couple of times to check in on it. Been through bumps on the road with it, but made it through and I miss it so. I did cry most of the times we stepped in it before they moved in, but it will not be sold... ever and that is a guarantee my husband gave me. I did mention that I was going through a depression of sorts in my last post and taking over the counter medicine that I found online. I do believe in fact that I do have PMDD from time to time and the pills that I was taking for it, I stopped taking them. I stopped due to the fact of not seeing any difference with being on them or not. I did start taking Brillia pills that help with anxiety and stress. I believe those pills worked better than the others, but I also did start taking my multivitamin pills daily along with vitamin d3. I figured out a dosage for the vitamin d3 that is working out for me and did start in the highest recommended dosage for Brillia, but then cut back on it as well within time. 

If you know me I don't like visiting doctors and such, but I told myself that this year, the new year, that I will be better with that and I have been. I went to see the dentist first and took care of some cavities I had. Then came the OBGYN for the yearly checkups there and all came fine, except of having Fibroids. I have decided to hold off on having any type of surgery for this until after July of this year - for personal reasons. I also got my eyes checked and all is good and went back to the prescription that I had when I first started wearing contacts, which threw me off completely with that, but its good news. I also got hired for a company I used to work for before and have been with them since August and its already been 6 months. I almost felt like quitting due to my anxiety being on the high rise and holidays coming up, but I didn't. I was doing all of my checkups purely because I was thinking of quitting my current job. It gave me anxiety due to so many rules and lines of businesses I still deal with currently, but I have learned to manage it all without my head exploding and my husband being on my side on whatever decision I made, to stay or quit. 

I decided to stay and in the department I'm currently in for a year. I thought to move departments as fast as I could once I hit my 6 month mark and find another department that's more fitting for me and asked to shadow other departments. They were informative, but I decided to stay where I'm at for a year and see how it goes. My supervisor always tells me that I'm doing a good job and I recently got a raise with a bonus. I learn new things every day with this company and department. I'm also taking classes my job offers me regarding with excel and any other program like it and I dont need to pay for them. The company pays for them. I need to figure out what other class I need to take while they're offering them. 

As for the property or land we bought, next to my mother-in-law's house, we have done a bunch of things to it. So far we have cut down a bunch of trees already and there was a storage building that was made and we knocked down most of it as well. We still need to haul a bunch of stuff that was inside the storage, so that's another project in itself. We still have more trees to knock down and deciding to buy a storage building to add to our land and move our items into it to save more money. We currently have our items in a storage place already. My husband wants that to happen soon, like in 2 months, but we need to clear out the land and time to do so. Maybe we can do that this coming weekend or so, who knows. I think so far I have updated this as much as I can here. Hopefully I don't forget to update this one and bring back some more interesting news.

3 busy bees!

Weather

Well, Texas has not been bipolar now. We're in the summertime now and boy is it hot! Not only do we have to deal with the heat, but the pandemic and the Sahara dessert's dust coming in the air. From what I heard, Illinois got some of that dust as well and that hardly happens. Seems during the week we just might some rain and I hope its more than an hour worth of rain. A whole days worth is what Texas needs of rain!

Photography

I have put my hobby on hold for now. With this pandemic and now lack of room in the new location we're at I wouldn't be able to do any of it. It does not mean that I completely stopped taking photos, it just means I'm putting a pause on it. If someone still needs me to take a family portrait or a product and if I stumble upon a beautiful location then I will snap a photo of it. I may need to take refresher courses to remember this, but it's ok maybe something I didn't know now I will learn then.

Texas

As we all know, or don't, Texas is one of the places in this COVID-19 that the numbers are rising. It doesn't help if the people who don't think it's real walking around without masks or the new term being tossed around as The Karens or Karens. We don't need you to preach of what lacked or what went wrong and that you're privileged; simply we just don't need your drama during this time and well any time, its pointless and you're in the wrong. This virus is real and no one wants to catch it! Everyone has family that they want to see over the coming years, so if you don't have any family or friends and don't want to wear a mask then stay home. At least keep your distance if no masks! Hopefully we can come together to fight this pandemic and get this state out of that "banned" list or quarantine.  

The Corner

So since my last post, my negativity has been dormant. I haven't had much of this going on, until yesterday. Yes, I am currently taking my Go with the Flow pills and at one point I stopped since I didn't have any and figured that I didn't need them at the same time, but I did have a small episode of just a lot of things on my plate and I crashed. My mother-in-law gave me some vitamin d3 pills and talked to me for a moment to calm me down and I was fine the day after. Yesterday, a thought of not loving poured into my mind. Why? I asked myself and I know its not true so why have this type of thought in my mind and consuming it. With things like this is frustrating and you need to figure out the source to make you think this way. I have not figured that out yet and it's irritating. Another feeling that I'm having is being irritated. I would like to play the blame game, but I know I can't do that every time or every month and I figured these pills should've helped at least 75% of this. I guess I get like this every time I know some things aren't done my way or I get forced to do something I don't want to do or a lame routine. I don't know, I just need to know what the source is and well bite it back.

At this point my husband and I have moved in with his mom in order for us to save money. No, we didn't loose the house and we're not selling it. We're actually renting/leasing it out and we're fixing it for the new tenant. So far the flooring for majority of the rooms are going to be fixed and in the process. Next will be the paint in some of the rooms and then the fridge. We really need to fix that ice maker in it and hopefully with the parts we already got it will do that. After all this is done, get someone professionally to clean the whole house and pest control as well. I think we may have someone to rent it out, a friend of mine, but we will need to see if they were talking serious about it. Everything is falling into place with the house and hopefully by August we can start saving up. The property/land will be next with cleaning it and then finding a house for us. The house is a slow process since I need to find the right layout, kitchen wise, but we have time for that. Another thing that is falling into place is me finally getting a break with a job. Ironically its with the same Pharmaceutical company I worked with before. They bought another Pharmaceutical company and well it'll be remote. So very soon there will be 3 people working from home by the beginning of August. Other than these changes or blessings there's nothing else to mention here. I will work on this specific thought and see what makes me think this way, but it all can be hormonal. 

The long sigh

Weather

As usual, my posts start off with this topic. To think of it, I have no idea why I do start them off with this, but I'll continue it. The weather has been crazy here. One day it'll be nice and sunny and the next just pouring rain, gloomyness and back to sunny all in one day. We did get snow one day, but it was only an inch and didn't last long. My dogs were very curious about it, as they should since it's not common here. So far, the weather has been in the 60s if not 70s and the mornings are the cold moments of the day. It just really depends honestly.

Photography

I did mention in my last post that I hope my photography business booms and that I had things lined up for me that made me think that it just might grow. I had a wedding gig lined up for me, but it fell through. They wanted a videographer and I don't do that and so I couldn't do that gig. I do have another chance for a wedding coming up soon, but my husband doesn't want me to do it since it's family and he wants me to enjoy the time. I also was told that the same client I did a session with earlier in the year wanted another session with extended family, but I have yet to hear from them for all the details. So my plan or goals I added to myself with this business was for me to get at least 2-3 clients each month and depending on how many people in each session charge extra per person and this will keep me afloat and with income, but so far no clients for the month of February occurred. March just started, so I'm not saying I'm giving up hope yet for this month, but the dark cloud is glooming and forming already slowly. 

I also tried to get some photos in during C2E2, but I got discouraged very quickly with my camera. The images were dark and not focused. In those type of events you don't have the time to make the person stand there for more than a minute or two while you adjust your settings, yourself and well you don't have the room because of other people passing by. You lack room and well lighting and so the first photos came out and I was trying a new setting, it just discouraged me quickly and made me very depressed. Honestly I took only 1 photo, one. So I either need to get better with my settings/camera, upgrade my camera or fix me and not be so hard on myself or do all. I don't know, but doing this for almost 2-3 years you think I should already know this and not have mistakes and I'm sure I'm right on that, but keep in mind I'm hard on myself. Rome wasn't built in a day and people learn new things every day. I do have an event I'm wanting to go this Saturday and it's a car show. Those type of events or topic of events to me are easy. They're cars and they don't move. One setting and nothing to worry about. We shall see how it turns out and go from there.

The Corner

I guess I decided to call this section of my posts as "The Corner". Because quite frankly, it feels like I'm placed or feel like I'm stuck in one, by choice or not. I felt at ease and free once I realized that our department was coming to a close. I have been wanting to get out of it and no one wanted to pick me up. After I came into an acceptance with both, I decided that I need time to relax at home and with my husband actually pushing for me to not work and him being the sole provider with no stress of sorts then I grew to also accept that. It's only been 2 months of me being unemployed and I feel bored and discouraged again. My feelings were swirling in every way possible. From happy to not needing to worry about the tasks that the job, any job, gives you to sad because of no socialization to even worriness and boredom. 

As I type this I feel like I should and shouldn't go back to working. I worry on finances and laying all the stress of it on my husband, which isn't fair. Yet I feel I deserve to relax and just stay home. Why I mentioned discouraged is because yes I'm on unemployment and yet every time I apply for every job I have (50+ jobs) none of them has wanted me. Ok I take it back, I had 1 interview and 2 offers of interviews. It's obvious that I didn't get that one job and the others I'm contemplating on replying back for set-up. But besides that, all the other jobs I applied for and seeing the reply back in email form of "No Thanks!" or no reply at all just discouraged me and I'm sure anyone in this position feels the same way. It just makes you feel like you're not good enough at all and not wanted. Again, I've given myself goals or strikes with this as well. So far one strike exists and if there's 2 more after an interview then I won't bother to move on. I will follow rules I need to go by, so that I will keep up with.

With all this in mind I just feel like I'm putting other feelings out in the open or just worse. I went into a deep depression around Thanksgiving last year for a week or so and did my hardest to not show it outdoors or towards others. Only my husband witnessed it severely and for that I'm sorry towards him. We both have learned a lot from each other; lessons and for that I'm grateful that I know now what I know and learned. I do believe after having that experience I feel as if my anxiety rose to a higher level with other moments in my life. I get tense during certain moments like when I'm in the car, I read an article online that I can relate to somehow, a video, just anything like that it will flare up. I cried a little when I landed in Chicago this last time I went. It was a different kind of cry and I felt my anxiety flare up while being up in the air, in the plane as well. I couldn't rely on my husband since our flight was packed, we "arrived" late and we're not sitting next to each other basically. I had to calm myself with listening to music, which 100% of the time when I'm flying I do anyways, but it helped. I also feel like my other feelings like anger or my joking parts of me have either intensified or have disappeared. I just seem to feel like I need to state "I'm joking" more now than ever before when I didn't need to. 

I just feel like I'm dragging and a burden and walking on eggshells of needing to apologize more and think of my actions or words before speaking them. No one needs to live like that, but it seems it's growing for me. I just don't know what to do anymore and blogging for me is like venting but also therapeutic. I'm just sharing what I'm going through and hope I find a solution or acceptance of my words when needed. I always say what I mean in the sense of my apologies, but I hope I can fix what's broken inside me and dismiss it all. For now all I can do is have a long sigh in these moments.

In the year 2020!!

Well, welcome all to the year 2020! Where many people say that they're going to make resolutions, changes, and organize their lives and then several days or a month later you forget it. I'm one of those people. Not by choice, but because I do have enough time in my hands nowadays. So, why do you ask? Well, due to a bittersweet circumstance that might bring me more advantages and possibly some goals completed. So on to what I usually do here.

Weather
So we were supposed to get a really bad storm this past weekend and well nothing happened. From hail to a possible tornado, but nothing really happened in our area. As of right now, it seems that our temps will be in a roller coaster ride. I'm wanting to make plans in the sense of exercise and such this new coming week, but we shall see how I can work this out. I can't complain nor give the excuse of time, since I have whole bunch of it now.


Bittersweet time
What I mean with this title is a lot of different things. For some, when they get let go from their job, they are mad and yet happy at the same time. Then after reality hits, sadness since no income and boredom-ness and starting from scratch occurs with looking for a job. I would say that I should be in these stages once my team found out that our account was closing, but I wasn't. In the long run, I was happy since no one including myself was not happy there and too many complaints occurred. I tried o escape before, but couldn't. A lot of people had other people to fall back to for income, since they had significant others or the alike, but many as well didn't and I felt for them. Were offers of other jobs given there? Yes, and some took the bait, but again I wasn't one of them. My time, my chance, has come to close this chapter with this company. I've been there for 5 years, 5 and now I need time to rest.

With this new freedom feeling I decided to organize/clean my house and so far most of the rooms that needed it the most have been staying clean. Now I just hope that my husband keeps up with them and doesn't destroy them somehow haha. I do have other rooms to organize and clean, but I also want to have actual time to relax. On top of that literally after the holidays were over, I had a request from a friend for a family portrait session and I took it. I had fun doing so and my husband and the client/friend also noticed it. Instantly once I was in progress with editing their photos I had another friend reach out to me for a wedding session. I greatly accepted, but need to hear back from the client or my friend first for confirmation. So it seems to me that this unemployment or relaxation is kicking my new year correctly with booking appointments for me for photography sessions. Hey, I do need the money and need to practice in one way or another for exposure and to finally build and update my portfolio and website as well. Hopefully word spreads of my services once I do provide the finalized photos of this current family session and this wedding as well. I just might also lend a hand in another wedding, if needed, with one of my husbands cousins as well. Whatever photography session comes my path I will surely take it, but keep in mind that it won't be free. Freelance people for any kind of art need to make a living as well to survive, so there will be a fee with our services!

Other than my photography business coming into a bloom again in a perfect timing, I also want to work on myself in the sense of exercise. I've been told that I need to get on a low-carb diet and well since I no longer have breaks for walks, I don't know how to gain my walks again while at home. My dogs don't obey in staying around me or just go crazy when we take them on walks, so that is out of the question and walking on your own can sometimes be lonely, but I guess that'll be my only solution for now. I don't know but also when you're cleaning your house you get a workout as well at the same time, so that's another plus on that or what I noticed. We shall see what I come up with in this part of my life. I just hope my photography business kicks in soon because I do enjoy it and my husband wants me to focus on that only and not get a [real] job back. So many plans and ideas and lots of time to expand and make them grow somehow! 

Reflections

This post is going to be a different type than the usual. I still haven't found a title or name for my "Alex's corner" deal I wrote and did in my last post. I'm usually good with naming things, but this time I'm just in a halt with it. I'm sure sooner or later I will bump into something clever. I guess this is also a disclaimer for what I'm about to write about and most times my title to my post is what I would be talking about. I figured I would give you guys a clue as to what I would write about, so that way you can determine if you even want to read it or not. I know some of you or majority of you don't care and don't want to waste your time reading my crap. I'll be blunt at times too with myself. I'm sure you figured that out by now.

Alas, this past weekend I had a lot of things that bumped into me and literally slapped me in my face. I felt as if I was in a rut, kind of like a pet mouse running in place in its spinning wheel. A cycle that never ends or goes back to square one and repeats. I guess I can break up what I want to talk about into sections here and it might be easier on me and you the audience to understand. Let's see what the easy approach would work. As I write this I am listening to Pink Floyd's "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" album. It's helping me and the set mood I'm currently in, if you want to jump in with me.

Work
I guess the best thing to start off with would be work. It is a part of everyone's life, if of course you do work. Mine revolves around a call center for a Pharmaceutical company, if you didn't know that already. When I started in this account it was easier, simpler and of course scary, but I overcame all the fears that came with it in time. Looking back at it and comparing to it now, it has changed a lot! Not only did the program, but the medication, the people, the "location" (ironically, haha) and well the customer service vibe. Our new clients want us to follow each and every script verbatim. Basically be like robots and mainly do transfers. I get it, I get why all these changes and precautions, but it seems to me to be also like a cover-up for something bigger or less, depending on how you see it. We've been getting a bit more of emails regarding other job positions here and a coworker did bring up a thought on it.. it was what they were doing when the other account I was in shut down. The same actions were happening then but now and almost in the same months, October through December. They were, in their own creepy way, telling us to get away or a heads up and of course I didn't listen to those warning signs. At the time, I couldn't take the new position I was offered earlier. The shift didn't fit well with me at the time and well the big ball dropped and the account was closed by the end of December.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a lot of things have changed in this account. Some for the good and others for the bad. Mainly, I am not happy here anymore. So many restrictions, lack there of communication, and well lack of calls I'm getting that all this is making me bored. It's time to move on, where I need to get challenged, especially my brain. It's turning into mush and well I don't like that. We've been offered a new position in a new account here and I have been contemplation on applying, but what holds me back is the shifts and no guarantee of which shift I'll get. I know it won't be there forever to apply, so I need to really consider it somehow and quick. I have been looking around the job marketplace, but it's hard to find the right one in the sense of good location and pay! My husband tells me to wait it out until we get the boot and collect compensation on it. I'm not sure if that's the route I should take. Although I can have a vacation away from working until the right one comes along. I just know that I'm not happy here anymore and I need a challenge.

Social-ness or lack there of..
I always loved being outdoors in any shape or form. Whether it was a trip, walking outside, playing outside, or just walking around a mall without needing to buy anything. It's a way to escape and see new things while at the same time getting exercise! I like hanging out with people and just socializing as well. Yet, in this department I was never good at with people sticking around in my life. I would try to hang out, keep close friends or best friends, but things just tend to slip away for many reasons. As I posted in my last post, it was due to someone else at the time. Even though I don't like blaming people on my actions, but at times they do tie in with it all. Also I do remember one time trying to hang out with some of my high school friends and they either cancelled the event or they just bailed on me. I at times tried to make an event and invite them to it, of course, and well boom none of them can come. As an adult, I've gone out with coworkers and those events too backfired on me. While away on PTO preparing for my wedding, I was told after that a lot of people talked about my wedding and well my list. They laughed at it and wondered why I had such items on my list. I was told this by someone who again is no longer working here and not in my life anymore. It made me sad that a lot of people felt the same way with my wedding and well bring things that happened into Facebook land and into work-land light as well. People just like to put other people down it. I have learned that these type of people just don't like themselves and the path they're in in their life. They like bursting people's bubbles and light for it to shine on them more or plainly they're just jealous.

Anyways, nowadays I don't have many friends and I try not to hang out with anyone from work outside of work for all these other reasons. Yes, they're all different people now and attitudes/personalities, but you take a risk in finding out all this and by the time you do, you may be screwed and be too late. The only friends I have are the one's I gain through my husband and in which have been a lot since I moved here. Yet, I only see these people once in a while and none of whom I met on my own through work at all. I don't hang out with either crowd away on my own. Upon realizing this, it made me sad. I wish I had friends I can go to and hang out with them in their place or a social setting, but I don't. I was never good in this department and I think it's because I'm holding myself back due to driving. Don't get me wrong, I was never like this with driving. I wanted to learn so bad and be behind the wheel. I don't know what happened that made me step back and not care for it after getting my license. I guess it was the flexibility of my dad being there and always offering to take me everywhere... comfort and security. He was always there and never hesitated to give rides to his family. Why would he? He would rather take his children to wherever they needed to and know that they would be safe. Plus I'm sure he always enjoyed the ride and exploring new places or just simply sight see, even if it's the same views daily. I wasn't going to take that away from my dad and never did. I grew comfortable in relying on him for rides and driving me around. I guess that's where the mistake happened for the future, which is now. Yet, if my dad wasn't around for a ride, I relied on public transportation. It is everywhere in Chicago, whether trains or buses, it's there. They may have public transportation here, but it's so limited on how far it goes. It's not convenient at all for me. So this goes with the part in needing to learn to drive and then I won't be limited and also get independence. Other than that, I need to find ways to be social on my own and hope for the best on this.

Love thyself
I can openly admit to this, I do not like myself. Why? Because of first all the things people have said to me and all the actions I have seen done to me either by the universe or by others. And there is one grand golden rule that everyone has heard once in their life: "You need to love yourself in order to love others". Let's reflect on this quote with me. I do believe in this because how can you express this to someone else if you couldn't express it to yourself? I have a lot of flaws, as anyone in this world does. Nobody is perfect! Virgo's, my zodiac sign, are known to want to be perfectionists. So everything we touch, it has to be in our way and well done perfectly, almost like an OCD like trait. This I have noticed with myself. I don't mind it, but others around me do! So back to loving and such with yourself. I have had a lot of things said to me and well I would easily dismiss them. Actions are a different story, they speak louder than words. Most of these actions were done to me when I was little, in elementary, in the forms of bullying. Other actions were inside your home, but that is all I would say in this subject matter. Summing this up is basically is that whatever happens to you growing up or the actions is how it can mold you to be when you're older. It may hurt others in the process in how you can love them in return. I sound like a therapist now ironically, but ultimately it ties down to everything I'm saying. I'm sure all the actions that I have encountered is why I am the way I am now. It sucks with some aspects, honestly. In other points, it's society's fault with how women should look like. Slimness all the way baby! Or needing to have a butt or boobs, the works.

Sadly, I was not blessed with either that I have mentioned and at other times, I do feel like I need to personally loose my small gut I gained. Happy life Happy wife they say. You'll gain pounds once married, etc etc. All this is true since I witnessed it. I was once a size 0-3 in pants and XXS/XS/S in shirts and we you can say that it's nice being there cause of cheapness. I was those sizes all throughout my high school years and college as well. I actually wanted to gain weight then and now that I have, I just want to loose the small gut I gained and get tone/definition of muscles.... that is all, folks! I have done small things here and there to get where I'm at, but then other things slip in my path that leads me to square one again. I'm annoyed when that happens, but it happens to all! During my breaks at work I do exercise by walking outside, if the weather permits. So I guess I'll keep doing this to my heart is content. My mind in the other hand, wanders to want to do a lot of things and yet none get accomplished. I need to get back to what I enjoyed doing, which was art. Painting, drawing, digital artwork that is what I like doing including Photography. It seems that I just jumped into many different topics, but they do all revolve around the word love which is the topic in hand.

I need to get to things that I once enjoyed on my own. It's almost therapy time for me since I need to focus on one thing and one thing alone and alone. Everyone at times needs their space. This space would be good for me in so many ways, so that way I can discover myself and see what I do love about myself. I literally googled "how to love yourself?" and the first link that came up was a very informative one. Once I finished reading it, I just needed to know more to start the process. Within that article I saw another one that I needed to click and most of the points it provided I do currently or used to do. Here is the link! I am still currently going through this long list and still check the ones I have done in my mind. I just never thought that they were considered self care ideas, but they are. They better and improve you in the process of doing other things. It just seems I need to add more to this list that is more personal to me and what I like doing. I have stopped spoiling myself since I realized that I needed to go on a budget for other things, other goals in life. So I'll see what I can get myself that isn't clothes or shoes. Also I will research more sites and articles in the topic of loving myself.

Goals
Speaking of goals, I do have some for the new year. These mainly go in the subject of money. I know I have maybe mentioned this in another post. I'm slowly getting rid of debt or things that take my money. Bills will always be a part of anyone's life, but you can simplify it. I already have assisted in getting my parents their own phone account and I'm on my own. The plan was for me to merge with my husbands account, yet if I do this along with another goal I'll mention shortly, I won't have any credit in my name growing. So we decided for me to stay solo with the phone bill. My other goal is to get rid of my student loan. Once the new year hits, sometime in January or February, I will pay that sucker in full! That would ultimately leave me with one bill and more money for other [fun] things. With this in mind, I will follow through with looking into extracurricular activity that will fill my time. I mentioned Fencing in one of my previous posts and also kick boxing, but one is cheaper than the other ironically. I'll look into this Fencing classes I found out that happened close to home. They look fun and interesting since they offer a variety on them. Another thing I've been thinking about is to change my hair color. Nothing to drastic so I won't have to keep up with it. I just want something lighter that will compliment my natural color.

I got a lot of things I want to accomplish! From driving, to be actively fixing how I look, to figuring out how to love myself and the things that I used to love to do. Seems to me that I need to bring the old Alex back with some improvements of course. I will research in the love myself part as I stated earlier since I feel a lot better now since I spilled all of my feelings and guts in this long post. In the long run, then I can spread more love than what I have to my husband and our "children", our dogs and love myself and my decisions along the way. Sorry to have been a nuisance, sorry if I have offended you before in any shape or form, sorry for the lack of communication, and I'll see what I can do to better myself with all.

5 months passed

Weather
Well after June, the weather settled to the normal hotness that Texas gets. As soon as it hit September, it changed in the form of cold nights and freezes overnights. I think we have had at least 5 days expanded into different times in months of chills being in the 50s or so. I know for sure we're getting another one this coming week as I type this. Even though I am a Northerner I never got used to it living up there. Although I see lots of mixes of temperatures this week. From 60s to 50s and then again 70s. We shall see!

Goals and events
Well in my last post I did write about small goals I want to accomplish. I mentioned that I wanted to exercise more and I did make that into a daily thing and so far it has been, but only walking at work during my breaks. I walk with a good coworker friend and we just chat during those times. I try to get to know her better in those moments and I think she tries to do the same. I don't mind it, but it seems she's the only person I got that I can trust and rely on at work anymore. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I did before with new faces in my team now. I try to stay to myself at work and won't say too much personal stuff to anyone. Why bother when there are some people in this world that just back stab and use things against you. Then you get those people who are just sociopaths and two-faced. You have a whole mix of stereotypes at my work and some you just can't pinpoint on what type they are yet or never.

Anyways, I think my other goal was to take photos of my X-Files collectibles. I did manage to do that, but then other things got in the way. There are some posted on my Facebook Digital Blu page, but that's not all of my collection. I might dive into this whenever I have some extra time in my hands. My tv/show reviews just came to a halt since I got a lot of other things coming my way. And well to be honest, no one jumped on board on this to help me out on it, as in an audience and suggestions. As for events in June and beyond. there were some events I found along the way. We had small vacations come and go and during those times we had stumbled into events and yes, I took photos. If you do follow and like my Digital Blu page than you have seen most of those events and vacations.

Trips
After June, we did have a mini vacation to New Braunfels, Houston/Galveston and Chicago. New Braunfels, Texas was for our wedding anniversary vacation weekend. We had fun staying in the area and exploring all around it. During my birthday my parents surprised me by visiting me that week, the week of my birthday. While they were here we took them to see the areas we visited while in New Braunfels and they enjoyed that very much. Houston & Galveston, Texas was in the month of October and literally in the weekend of Eric's birthday. So we decided to make it into another mini vacation for us and spent some nights there too. Eric's family went to Houston as well for an event they were having in NASA for kids with Autism. After that day, Saturday, everyone except Eric and I stayed in the area. The following days we looked for tourist spots and enjoyed ourselves and an opportunity for me to take photos as well for me to visit Galveston. I have been in that area before,  but never had the chance to see anything sadly. All in all, we had fun while there and vacationing. Then 2 weeks after that vacation, it was time to visit my family in Chicago. I always make it a goal to visit them at least twice a year. One for an event now that its like a tradition for my family, which is C2E2, and the other is for my nephews birthday which is in Halloween. For now, we have no other small trips for November and December, but I already miss traveling for this year and in general. I love to travel, we love to travel! We both admit it and love staying in hotels. Is it odd for us to like such things? I feel like planning trips for next year now already. Find days that are holidays and just make it a weekend thing. I guess its a reason why we decided to not have children because we can do such things, but yet it doesn't mean we are made out of money or so. We always budget and check to see if its possible to begin with. I got some things or places up my sleeve to visit, we shall see.

Alex's small corner
I had no clever name to name this spot in my blog. Mainly I will write about what's been going on with me, without diving into very personal things, but still about me. Well, work with me is the same... it's a pain in the butt. Same 'ol Supervisor that doesn't know how to do her job and now might be able to enjoy nitpicking everyone with their calls. I have yet to get an extra meeting than my usual 1 on 1s which I think its a good thing. All I hear is that we listen to our own calls during those times, which for me is useless in my opinion. Also the client is the one being more picky and wanting us to sound robotic and nothing customer service like anymore. Bottom like, just transfer for anything basically. I just make some time while at work to actually apply to other jobs. HH, which is where I work at, is going downhill rather quickly and firing 146 or so people. I feel like sticking around till the end, but I'm not too sure on that and if that is the right path for me. I don't know, I've been trying to leave there for years now and in August I completed being there for 5 years, but it's not really worth it. It's an easy job, good location, and you do what you're told to do...so why leave it right? No growth and raises, honestly it's the bottom line.

Also, I've been feeling like reconnecting with people I stopped talking to. People I met during work and people I've stopped talking for childish reasons in my past. It's hard to start a new conversation or any with them since the connection has been severed a long time ago. Heck that individual may think that I want to start talking to them again because I'm nosy and saw something different in their lives and want to know things. I'm not like that, never was, but when I did loose communication it was because of something so small and stupid. While typing this out, I thought about at least 3 people I've done wrong to. For that, if you think you're one of those people and you may be right, then I am sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you into my insecurities or problems. I shouldn't pick sides, thought one way of you and well stopped talking to you because of someone else. I have so far reached someone I met at work recently from Michigan and the only reason I stopped talking to her was because I felt I was bringing my work problems to her and nothing else. Yet she understood what I spoke about and well anything work related. She has moved on to another job she aimed to look for and apply for and well, got her dream job. I stopped because I simply forgot to respond back since nothing has changed at work and her job, she was still getting used to. I didn't want to intrude and bring more things of the past job she left, which is where I still am. I have sent an email to her today and waiting for a response still. The other individuals were during a break-up moment of my life with a guy and then being on the guys side or being their friend. Yet, she was unavailable due to an illness of sorts she was going through. Mainly she was still being friends with my ex at the time and that ex is now my husband. Go figure. Another was during college and I really can't remember why I stopped speaking with her, but I'm sure I was one-siding with who I was dating with at the time, which oddly again is my husband now. Haha, seems I always take sides with whomever I was with... guy trouble.

Anyways, I just want to have friends that I can just call whenever I need to vent or just have small chats with and that I know I can trust besides my husband. Don't get me wrong, he is a great guy and my best friend, but sometimes you just need a third party or a different point of view from someone else... not related to you, haha. I have had people like this I can rely on, but seems times/events/moments just take them away from me and its never the same again after. I don't know, but I guess I'll find ways to speak with them somehow without sounding or looking creepy and wanting something from them. In the end of it all, I do want something from them, but I can return the favor too. It's been too long since I wrote in here and as I always say here, I'm sorry for it. I used to write in this at work, since it seems its the only time I can, but my Supervisor being such a pain I don't want to risk getting caught in her web again. I also have gained some new friends from my husbands side of work that I do, at times, consider family. Yet I don't see them daily since I don't work at the same place as they do, but it's good to know that I have other friends away from my job. Well there you have it. I wrote tons since I haven't had the time to anymore. I'll try to keep up with it next year, I hope.

Setbacks..

Weather
Well, this one has been a doozey. We have been told that we would be getting harsh winds and rain, but only the winds did occur. Most of what you see happening in Texas, the tornadoes and the alike, are North of where my husband and I reside in. All mainly in the Dallas area or the panhandle of Texas. So far, we have been in the humid spell and it seems it might stay that way. Who knows!

TV/Movie Reviews
I have decided to move this portion to my other blog, my Digital Blu blog. So far, I believe I have done like 2 audio recordings and none are edited. I am only starting, but if you would like someone to be natural and real then I guess you reached the right place for that! I might make this into a more concrete hobby of sorts, once I feel more comfortable and have time to do so.

Exercising
I was part of a "competition" of sorts at work with walking. They did have prizes for 3 runner ups. I wasn't really doing it to get any of those prizes, but to motivate me into exercising again. It lasted for a good 2 1/2 or 3 months total and I wasn't a winner in any tier. Now I feel as if I should find another part of my body to work out besides my legs. I'm sure my legs still need to be toned or need more muscle, but you need to give your body or a specific part of your body that you're more focused into a break as well. I need to focus more on my stomach, but I need to find easy and effective workouts that will tone it down and build muscle. I will need to find these on my own, without any app, to help me. Apps, in my opinion, tend to remind you which in turn turns into routines and tell you to not forget your workouts or homework per se. I hate homework and I don't like things pushing me to remind me to do stuff. I will just quit if people or things tell me to do things on a daily or force me to. Slow and steady wins the race after all.

Events
I have yet to find events for June and well, with my husband accepting a new job position, we have decided to not go to A-kon. It disappoints me to this day on that news, since it was going to be a mini vacation for us and I was going to officially use my new lens with cosplayers while practicing shooting them, well those ideas are out the window. I'm not sure how long we are able to not setup or schedule a small vacation for us, due to his job, but I'm grateful that he got one. I guess now we can do events for either Saturdays or Sundays, depending on other factors of course.

Photography
I have decided to have a goal for myself. New month, new goals! I have one already in progress with my house and maintaining it organized and clean. This project is going slowly due to resources and other factors like weather. So far the weather has been in our favor and I just might work on our extra rooms this coming weekend, so we shall see. The other small goal is to photograph all my collectibles of The X-Files that I have. I always wanted to do this and its not a challenge, but a goal. Once again, I hate calling such things as challenges because if you force me to do something, I will eventually quit. For now its called a goal and the goal is to photograph one item each day and edit it as well to display in my personal Facebook page. If I decide to add it to my Digital Blu Facebook page then I will. For now, it will only be in my personal page once they are all edited! I need to dive back into product photography since that is my main focus and make it into a career, I hope. I will be needing to step up to it since my husband is wanting to make a small business and well with the items we will be selling, they need to be photographed at some point right? I don't want to dive too much into detail with that small business for now, since we don't know what to call it and we are getting all the major tools we'll be needing for it slowly. I will announce it once we are fully ready!

Hobbies into Careers

Weather
Well, so far the weather has been decent for us. It has jumped up and down from time to time and right now, its decent, with some rain in the forecast. I hope it stays constant from this point on though.

Updates
As you can tell, I have did some updates on this blog with the other pages to navigate on. Mostly the updates consist of movie reviews. I will test the waters on my own with making movie/tv show reviews of my choice, unless you ask for me to make a review, by podcast style.

Disclaimer: I have never went to school to be a critic on movies or tv shows! My opinions are strongly my own and if you don't agree with them then that is okay. I don't mind me being an amateur of such hobby or task, but if you don't like reviews from non-experts then this is not the place for you! If you like reviews from ordinary people, like yourself, with no career background or degree in the matter, then this is the spot for you and I Thank you for it in advance!

So, you will see reviews of movies we went to see in theaters and I will make my own reviews on it. I might make my husband jump in and be recorded from time to time, but for now I will do it on my own. If you like this idea and would like to follow through with it with me, then I encourage you to do so and to comment on the matter. I will place this post link on my personal Facebook page and you will need to comment on it below your ideas or just your opinions. Maybe, I will post the review post only to my personal Facebook page instead of these type of blog posts. If its a success, in this format of audio, then I will expand my horizons with other things/topics/subjects the same way.

Events
The 2 events per month is still in effect. The Car show and C2E2 were a success and the car show events photos are slowly leaking into my Facebook business page in this month, of April. Once all car show photos are completed in being edited, then the cosplay photos will be next! Keep checking back on my Facebook business page for updates on photos and new events. I have 2 events I would like to attend this month that are coming up and have yet to find any for the month of May and an extra one for the month of June. If you see any events that might spark my interest, please let me know in my Facebook page or tag me on the events page!

Writing
Due to personal stuff going on and other events or projects, the writing monthly prompts will no longer continue. If you would like to continue them on your own, you can always find them by going to Pinterest or simply googling them. As for any other writing projects, they will continue. Please refer to my Digital Blu blog post for more information regarding writing projects! There is a project occurring, but for more information on it, go to the post.

Workouts and Exercises
We had to put this on halt for a good brief moment due to a car accident we were apart of recently.  We are both fine and with our lives which is what counts the most right? So the Keep app is still available for anyone to download and start and I do recommend it! I have been signed up to do a walking exercise at work and its's motivating me to do something exercise related to get back into the routine. So hopefully with the weather cooperating soon and everything else personally being settled soon, then we can get back on track with other goals and this one as well.

I might consider also doing an audio recording of this post, word for word, so keep that in mind if you do see a link of a recording. It will be the same information in my voice being in audio! Audio files will maybe for now only be about reviews, so keep that in mind. Thanks for reading!

Minor Goals

Weather
Well, our weather has been crazy here. We have been in the 70s to back to the 50s and this coming week we will get a big cold front. I think its predicted that it will feel like we're in the 20s, but actually in the 30s or 40s in the mornings. This is affecting all of us with our health cause of this crazy weather and its annoying since we haven't been able to exercise like we planned to daily outdoors. I have other things being left on hold or postponed due to the weather, which really is annoying. Hope we can make it through this week and even though I am from the North where there is always cold weather, no I shouldn't be used to it.

Journal Prompts
One of my goals or just hobbies is to pick up where I left off with my writing. I love it, but hate reading. Ironic right? I have pushed myself to reading as much as I could, but just the fact of making myself push to read is what kills it for me. If I have to force myself to do something that I don't enjoy or can't dive into it on my own, then it won't work out for me. Its how it works with me, plain and simple. So, I decided to find a way to write again and use my brain while I'm at work. As sad as it may sound, I don't do anything at work. I hardly get any calls or just don't get any period. When I try to make calls, it gets taken away from me or people judge the way I do the task or how many I do. But back to the topic at hand. I want to get back to writing and I figured to find ways, simple and small ways to dive back into it besides writing in my blog here. I found some monthly questions in my pinterest account that do make you think of things you never think of asking yourself. I was just trying to put a photo here of the writing prompts, but my tablet is limited. So instead I decided to give you a link, just click here and you will see the questions for each month. Once I complete this by the end of March, I will upload my answers, but I am contemplating on that. I will do it every 2 months. So one hobby is being picked up again and hopefully by the time I have an idea on a short story then, I may have an editor.

Workouts and Exercise
Due to the weather, like I mentioned above, we haven't been able to be active. We did want to walk daily after work around the our neighborhood and did it for a month if not more, but the weather ruined that for us. I am also self conscious about myself and with an innocent conversation at work and a statement that, "either you have a chest or a butt" and that got me to thinking of needing to work on myself since I don't have either. Saying a statement of that sorts may not be hurtful, but can make someone think. So I decided to work on myself. I found some workouts I can do while sitting a work since I hardly do anything there. Those exercises I found on my pinterest account. Most of those exercises are for the legs and one for the butt. Another exercise app I just downloaded is called Keep or K. I just did one session based on some of their questions that it asked me and it was only 18 minutes, but it did get me to gain sweat. I might need to do this more often, since it only takes 18 minutes of your day to do the workouts. I might also add more as well. We did decide to get a treadmill, but we might hold off on that. So this is one thing is going to continue and we shall see how it works out for me for now.

Events
I will keep this part short, but I am trying to at least have one if not 2 events each month for me to go to for photography. I need to practice some more and find a way to get my name out there and get something going for me to get a business started and finally leave the job I am in currently. I hardly do anything there and it seems that my mind is slowly dying due to boredomness. So far, I have 3 events in my calendar that I'm confirmed to attend due to tickets already bought. One of those events is free to attend and you don't need to purchase tickets. The free events re car show and the alike that I can take photos of. I have placed placeholders of these events on my Facebook page and will continue to do so when I will attend an event around me. I think for now this is the best update from me you will get, but keep coming back for new stuff. I was going to try something new here, but I still need to figure something out with it. I also want to start a vlog or podcast of some sorts cause I just need some stuff to do once my projects around the house that I got planned are done.

Pump it up!

Weather
Well ironically enough we have been having bipolar weather here. Some days 50s, others 40s with cold winds and today it was sunny and in the 70s. I believe tomorrow it will rain and go back to the 50s and even colder by the weekend. I blame the winter weather happening in the northern states. Yes, my family is finally getting snow. Go figure huh! **Update: Since I wrote this a lot of changes in the weather happened. Not only in Texas, but also in Illinois. My family finally did get snow, yes, but not only that but very harsh winds and it went below zero, to negative 27 degrees and feeling or actually feeling negative 17 degrees. The state declared to tell everyone to stay home and if you needed to work then be careful being outdoors and do not talk. I think I have never had to experience that, but only heard of it since I left and I think it has occurred twice since I left my hometown. My family is ok and they did stay home from work and I am glad.**

"But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more"
No copyright infringement intended there! Well we are getting there at least, but that's a lot of walking. So far, we have been staying in 2 1/2 miles, give or take a little. We decided to add a mile once we complete a week with the same miles. It feels nice after the walk because it seems we can do more, but the sun doesn't stay too long for us to continue and our dogs, Ok one dog... Puppy, tend to stop at every pole sign or fire hydrant, but what can you do. So we will continue to do this until we can manage to jog and then eventually run. 

We have also decided to cut back on ordering out or buying food from restaurants and also eating healthy. Now, anyone who knows me or has been around me growing up I am very very picky and don't like healthy things or vegetables. I have grown to enjoy certain vegetables now and adapted myself to with some since my husband, Eric, knows what I like and don't like. Oddly enough he has found ways to add those veggies that I don't like in dishes he created from scratch or let me have my glory of making them into bigger chunks for me to remove them in my time. But back to the topic at hand, we have found other things to cut back in and add into our eating habits for them to be healthier. We never thought they would taste yummy or come out great, but you just need to try them out and see. Ironically I read an article on CNN stating that its not the exercise you need to worry about to loose weight, as my husband is trying to do to get healthy, but its the food you consume. Found this article right around the time that we started and decided to get healthy and be healthy for the new year. One thing that was a big hit for us was Cauliflower rice. Google it and it has been a replacement for us for actual rice, something we both miss dearly, but its for the best. 

Goals

We both have goals for this new year. I'm sure some were mentioned or heck, even talked about in the last blog post I did here not that long ago. Yes, one goal is to actually get healthy, exercise, run, and basically be more active. Another goal for both of us is to be more social. Between both of us, I am the more social person, who likes to go out to stores and just be out and have fun and not be stuck indoors. Eric, on the other hand, is a homebody and can just stay home and play video games all day. We both need to become more social and the only way to do so is to go out or have date nights with friends or just have game board nights with friends. Sometimes some people just can't commit to meetings that were planned and I have been through that or knew of such meetings and never was invited. It sucks, yes I know, but now I believe we both have friends that can keep these commitments and heck even make plans thinking of us or just without a second thought invite us right away. So I do believe we have this goal already in great progress with the new friends that maybe soon enough can call family if not already there.

Another goal of ours is traveling. We already have several planned out for the first half of the year. As always we made it a tradition to go to C2E2 in Chicago and we have already booked all for it. Within that goal, for me, I will take more photos of cosplayers and hopefully they turn out great this time. We do have another convention to go to in June with friends and we will make it as a tourist type of mini vacation as well, with all of them. I also believe they have planned another outing with them, of the camping type. I never have done camping cause of the fear of bears and well bugs, mainly all due to my parents. I really don't mind experiencing an event of that sorts once in my life and then I can just take it off my bucket list or just be able to say that I have done it to someone else. Well at least that won't be a goal that's broken or can't be done since there's already steps or plans happening. Another goal of mine, with the help of my husband, is to organize and decorate my house to my liking in which is already also in progress. Being active & eating healthy, traveling, being social with game nights/study groups/vacations, organization and so much more that I'm sure I can't even remember are things being written for us and need to be planned and they are in progress.

In the year 2019!!

Welcome to the New Year everyone!!

I hope 2019 treats you all better, different, but most of all positive. I sure hope it does with me with a plethora of new adventures ahead of me. Most of all, I will focus on myself first and know how to stand my ground and not get trampled around by anyone.

Weather
As always, I start my blogs with the weather. This last year has been interesting for everyone with this category. We went from hot to cold in matter of the same day or the next. We've been told that we would get snow in Texas and also in Illinois, but either Texas got none and Illinois got some, but disappeared due to rain. I was happy to be able to see my family for Christmas, with hopes in getting snow when I visited so I can take pictures of the snow, but unfortunately there was no snow. Right now in Texas its pleasant, possibly today in the 60s with a slight cold breeze, but this prediction is only of a couple of times of me stepping out in my backyard, nothing more. I'm sure in Illinois, its a different story.

4 months
Well, it has been a long time since I have written here. Literally, it has been since our last vacation to Fredericksburg, Texas back in July. Since then, there has been many changes within me and around me. I have gained new friends at work and a more non hostile environment, but sadly that has changed in the last 2 months or less of the year. Not with the individuals I have gained as friends, but with the person we all as co-workers look up to as an example. Yes, you guessed it, that strong individual that we go to for any assistance and grants us changes and should have our backs, but doesn't. Personally, I have been targeted twice almost back to back with write-ups that I have never gotten in the past 4 years I have worked in the same workplace until now. Once all this occurred it was once I denied for a position that was vacant even though I expressly told 2 people, my Supervisor (which whom we're talking about) and Operations Manager, my conditions for gaining that position and if those aren't available to be done then I don't want none of it and also placed my input on what can be done with other situations in the account that would make everyone in the team run more smoothly for them. After this certain meeting regarding all of this is when everyone's attitude changed in one way or another, mainly the big bosses and strictly it seems towards me at certain times.

Look, with all this happening, it really pisses me off that things of this nature happens in any workplace yet something like this always happens towards me. I had conflicts before, with either bosses or co-workers, in prior of my jobs and it seems to follow. I need this type of stuff to stop and it sickens me and well just makes me feel some way of myself as an individual. Other than that, I must say that I would like it to stop and if others have put their 2 cents to HR, like I have with my second write-up, then maybe I need to start something else and another ticket in to HR. Off this topic, but everything else has been well with us and hoping things change for the better for my husband and I this new year. We, my husband and I, are hoping for us to travel more in this new year. So far, it seems that it may happen and I'm hope it does and I will be excited when it happens. We do have a couple of events/trips coming up already, but we're gathering more and most of them are with my husbands coworkers.

Photography
I have been dragging with my side hobby and I really don't like it. Things that have been happening, especially the lack of motivation, just makes someone have less and less interest in things you once had interest in. The lack of interest has been years, but I'm not sure what made it occur and start. I wish i knew, that way I can nip it on the butt and start to have the motivation again. I'm trying to find a photography challenge that I can actually do, that won't make me do things on a daily basis since if you're making someone do a task then you will loose interest since its forced upon. So I must find a challenge that will help me get focused on what I need to practice on while its not daily and get motivation again. Once I find something that I can combine all of this into one, which must start soon, given the new year then I will start it. I need to research this long and hard and hopefully the research itself does not make me loose interest.

Bettering yourself
I have noticed that there was a 9Round added close by to where I live. I looked into it to see what it was about and its kickboxing. I always wanted to do something like this since its like a 2 in 1 type of event. I would like to take a self defense class along with it having my body have a workout. I know I need to get healthy and well just basically work out my body to have muscle on certain parts of my body. It also doesn't hurt to learn self defense if I ever will need it, which I hope to God, I never do need to use it. Eric, my husband, needs to get in shape as well. We need to find some type of diet that's not restricting and not a fast and quick to ignore or stop eating a certain food/item. We might make our own diet with lowering a certain food intake each week and more exercise of course. Hopefully with the new adventures that await for us in the work environments, it play with our favor in order for our minds and bodies to be worked on and no stress to occur anymore. So we will see what we can do with all these accommodations, but they will have to wait when we get certain news for each of us. If all goes into our favor, especially mine, well maybe I might work on other things within me like fashion/wardrobe and looks. It all depends on other things.

Back to square one!

Weather
Well good day to all. It has been a good while since an update in this old blog. Well, the weather has been crappy here. The last time I posted about it, it was bipolar, but now it has remained steady and sadly over 100 degrees. We did get a "cold front" over night from Monday night into Tuesday morning, but they tend not to last around here. It might stay like this for another month or 3, but we shall see.

Fredericksburg, Texas
So for our 4th of July, my husband and I took a trip to Fredericksburg, Texas. It was only a 2 1/2 hour drive from our home and we decided to stay a couple of nights over there and explore the city and the surrounding areas. We got there on time for the parade, have breakfast, drive around and then storms came to ruin the evening. With that being said and done, we thought that there wasn't going to be any fireworks happening anywhere, ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant and then we decided to stay in our hotel room and watch tv while keeping ourselves company. The next day was still a bit cloudy, but no small rain or clouds was going to stop us. We explored Enchanted Rock and then downtown Fredericksburg, with all their small shops on their strips and had our leftover food from the Mexican restaurant we went to the day before. Our last day, Friday, we left our hotel and continued to explore all around other areas. I have heard and read about Stonehenge 2 in Ingram, Texas and it was about a 30 minute to 1 hour drive from where we were staying. I thought it would be in a big open field with its own parking and well not near a busy road or highway. Oddly enough the area worked where it was at, but there shouldn't be any baseball field or any sports field next to it or at least no fence near it for better picture taking. Then we had more time in our hands and tried to find other tourist spots and one was recommended to us by google called The Coming King Sculpture Prayer Garden, a mouthful isn't it? This attraction is in Kerr, Texas and throughout our trip there were pictures taken for sure.

We did have some mishaps during our trip, like Eric falling in Enchanted Rock, our camera stand to record our drive didn't work, the hotel blaming us for selecting the room we did, construction going on in the hotel and the rainy weather. We got all of them fixed in one way or another or just didn't bother with it and we still had a great time in our mini vacation. For sure next year, we will decide to go to Niagara Falls again and spend a good long time there and more pictures. We do have other trips planned for the rest of the year and already have one planned for the next year, so we're hoping to have many small road trips at least one weekend every month. We shall see if that can be pulled off and what photos I can take!

Photography
Speaking of my photography, I have been improving it in other possible ways. I might enter into having a "side gig" of product photography and already have been practicing. I think this genre of photography will best suit me since there's no one to hassle with, settings are basic for the camera and you don't need to second guess yourself on the settings or lighting. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't turn down an opportunity for someone to book me for a session, that is still offered and available especially a genre that I have never done.. like Newborn or Real Estate photography. For now I will focus the best that I can with Product Photography and there aren't many of people doing this genre in my area, so if someone notices my work and website, then I don't mind. I almost had a session with someone I didn't know at all, but they backed out due to "money problems". With any session, I have a discussion with the potential client in asking them if there's a theme, a location in mind and so on and once that is all covered or when they ask, I tell them my fee. You're lucky if we set this up a week or more prior, gives you time to prepare for it or gather the money if need to, but when you seal the deal and money is not an issue then, then it's set. Do not come to me once I sent you an email reminder of this session and say you don't have the funds for it and yet you still want the session. I'm sorry, I might be practicing in this field, but I need something in return than experience. If I am going out of my way to make this happen for you and I'm talking about traveling wise, distance, then I need at least the money we agreed upon for gas. Other than that, I am glad you came to me to help me out and yourself out in having a session with me. I appreciate your time and business!

I almost had the chance to change my path or career twice recently. In both occasions, I did not accept the offer. A lot of cons instead of pros were given to me and the only 2 pros were the monetary amounts that were offered with the positions, but it will be  a set back for the both of us in many different ways. We travel a lot and like travelling, so the offers given weren't going to be paid, ever, and  I couldn't settle for contract. I need something that is stress free, worry free, and that will benefit me in the end. It may look like I took a step back or back to square one, but this chance is giving me time to reflect and actually study for something or a career that will benefit me in more ways than one. So we shall see what I read up on to move forward and get a better job or so. Until next time!

The firsts of 2018!

Weather
Don't get me started on this topic! Everyone doesn't want to hear about it anymore and well, I don't blame them not one bit. So, since my last post our weather did go back up to the 70s and I do believe they stayed around there. Once it hit the week of Christmas, then its when it got worse. We plummeted to the 50s, then 30s and during those mornings we were at teens if not 20s and only made it to the highs of the 30s. I'm sure no one expected that and at one point, we did get snow, but it didn't last that long and in total we had 2 days that we got snow. They were not back to back though and not even close to 2 inches on both times. Right now, we are expected to be in the 50s as the high and by the weekend, we might get to normal temps for this time of the year in Texas, which I do believe they are around the 70s/60s. We shall see about that!

2018 
So its the new year and I hope everyone has a happy, healthy and safe New Year! I bet most of you have made resolutions and I hope that they are being taken care of and if you slip, then no worries, you can get yourself back up and start again. If you didn't make any or just don't want to call them that, then it's ok. Just be the best that you can be, fix what you want to fix within yourself and around you and if there's something new you're going to try, then I hope you succeed and it goes into your favor. I myself have made resolutions or things that I want to accomplish to change myself or improve myself. It's not a long list, but it's definitely a short one so if I slip or forget then I won't be so hard on myself for "forgetting" or "failing". My list is:

1. Exercising- by working from feet to head and I will focus on only one part of my body for one month and change on to the next month. I might do 2 days within the week, if possible. I just might decide to do this on Sundays, so I have something to do while my husband is away at work and work my butt off during them to make up for the other day I might have missed or not do.
2. Photography- I will be doing a challenge on this. I found a great one online and will be doing it weekly. There are so many of them out there, but most of them are daily and I know I don't have the time to do those type, so I found one that is only weekly and as well focusing on what I need to work on, portrait. I need to improve on that since I'm not well in that department and I do need to improve a bit more on it. I will still be taking classes soon for it in March, so I would like to know or have the knowledge on it before entering the class.
3. Writing- I used to come up with short stories like there's no tomorrow or my dreams would help me with this to create one, but recently I haven't had a good dream to make it into a story/novel. I would like to get back into writing and if need to, improve on it. So I also found a daily challenge to make me think and improve on my writing. The challenge I found is a daily one, but I will be making it into a weekly one. I can't keep up with daily challenges and its why I make them into weekly.

Most of the challenges I'll be doing I'll be putting my progress or what I am doing in my tumblr page. So if you would like to keep up, be a supporter, or join me find the challenges there. I have already added my first writing challenge, so be sure to read it when you can. Most of them I have found on Pinterest, while others I searched for in the internet. So join me, read along or just be a good support system in reminding me to do these things. I do need to get into shape, get my brain working when I have tons of time, and improve on what I need to improve on.

The other challenge I have for myself is finding another job. As easy as the one I'm working in now is, it doesn't have its perks. No raise, lack of communication, and any other departments/accounts around me are less pay than what I'm getting unless you're licensed or they are seasonal. The only raise you get around here is if you turn team lead, supervisor, or trainer, anything of that nature that you potentially are not an agent anymore. Evidently, I will be looking for somewhere else by this year. I have told myself that I don't want to stick around a negative place for more than 3 years, well, I am already in the 3 year mark sadly. Hopefully I find something after March, since the photography classes I'm planning on taking are in March and this schedule I have now is a good fit for it. Once I learn more of that trade, I can make it into a side business for more income and I might focus on product photography as well. My husband is trying to get a small business going as well and might as well be his photographer for his products. More on his small business later, once it picks up.

The X-Files
Well it is back! For you friends of mine who are fans of it as well, what did you think of the first episode of season 11? Were you disappointed in it? Happy? Shocked? Did you throw a big party and didn't invite me to it?

Well let's just say that I was happy it came back, but shocked towards the end of it. Although the opening title did give us a small clue or eye opener, I bet it is that. If you haven't seen it, then I'm trying not to disclose too much detail, but you should go and see it! I will be or wanting to make some pointers on this, but I think I shall wait on it. There are some other shows I'm waiting for them to come back up, like Handmaids Tale, Mindhunters, Humans and well luckily Black Mirror came back already, but I'm sure I have a bigger list on this. I will need to back track on it. Do you have any shows that you liked and would recommend to someone else? How were they memorable and why?

Well, we shall see what the new year will bring for my husband and me. Hopefully its more fun adventures of travel, of learning new things, and any other way possible and that God let us enjoy them as well. Hopefully for you, the reader, I hope its a better year than the last and that it brings you joy and well safe and healthy one too!

Around the corner

Weather
I am so glad that when I went back home recently, that I brought the cold weather with me. Or at least I give myself that credit. Some people appreciate it and others don't, but just take it as I go. We have been in the 70s and have hit the 50s in certain days. For now, we have been consistent with being in the 70s during the day and at night around the 50s or even 40s. Hopefully, it stays this way throughout the end of the year.

Tv shows
Well wit the lack of cable in our household, I can't really keep up with the new fall tv lineup. We mostly stick with watching whatever is on Netflix, Hulu, and HBO Now. We have finished WestWorld, Mindhunter, Stranger Things 2, Fuller House, and The Keepers. The most recent ones we finished are the ones that I listed first and yes, I don't mind some documentaries. We just jumped into watching The Punisher and Once Upon a Time season 6 and so far they are promising! If you would like any reviews on the ones we have finished please let us know. I might need to plug in our Pi to catch up on "How to get away with Murder" since Hulu removed I believe the first few episodes of this current season. If there are any other shows that you would like to recommend to us, please do so and we will get to it. You guys already know what type of shows we like, going by the ones I have listed above, but it not we like sci-fi, fantasy, true crime, crime, and comedies. We are all over the map and if we see one that interests us, you bet we will watch it.

Podcast, youtube, vlogs
So as I mentioned above, we do love watching tv shows and movies as well. We have been bumping back and forth on wanting to do a podcast or youtube channel to give our input on either. I just love watching and hearing other people's input or conclusions on certain shows. I was anxious for a youtube channel to come out to see what they thought on "Twin Peaks" and most of the time, I agreed with them and the others not so much. I had a lot of thoughts and conclusions myself with that show, but never expressed them to the public, only my husband and well anyone else who watched it around me. Eric has been thinking of making one as well and combine video games as well with tv shows and movies and I was thinking the same, but adding even more stuff to it.. not just being limited to 3 categories. Tv shows, movies and video games reviews and if we find a random article on Facebook that made us both laugh, then we will share it and our input about it. So if anyone is interested in wanting us to start one, then please leave us a comment here or on our Facebook pages and we will get on board to start it.

Photography
I am still on board with this hobby. I did step back from it for a bit, but my sister wanted me to do some photos for her small family and so I did. My nephew seems to be a natural born model. He went right away with striking a pose and just being prepared. I will definitely be taking classes in March and then follow that with other classes to help me in Lightroom. Maybe I will be more confident and get more sessions booked by the time I'm done with my first set of classes. I would like it to be an extra income for us or at least play money until I know I can make it into a business. I just know that I need to get better at it and be more confident with my work. Hopefully, I can get recognized this way for my Landscape photography part too, which is what I'm really passionate about. Once also I complete my classes, I will start building my portfolio along with the rest of my artwork from college. Then I can officially call myself a Multimedia Artist!

New Years 
2018 is around the corner for all of us. How odd that it's slow, but ironically enough fast as well creeping up on us. I hope everyone has a better new year than what they had with 2017 and I sure hope Eric and I can travel even more as well. I would like to travel and just sightsee, that way we can have mini vacations and not be too stressed out about work or things that randomly pop up in our lives that give us issues. We had a lot of those in 2017, we don't need them too much or at all in the coming new year. Hopefully, Eric and I can have a great new year and actually go out for it to celebrate. Although it's nice to just relax and stay home sipping on some alcoholic beverages of our liking. We shall see and hope that its positive New Year for everyone! Be safe all!